I thought my life would be different

Jack and Libby

2010-11-28T10:38:00.001-05:00

Nothing better than a lazy Sunday morning and catnip!

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Life as I Know It Today

2010-11-26T19:31:00.001-05:00

I was just rereading some old posts of mine. Some are as if someone else wrote them. Some are just unfamiliar period.

It's been a year since Dan's back surgery. It has been difficult and in many ways it is easier now than before and some days are even more difficult than before. Dan gets depressed. I get depressed. I know the girls are troubled at times.

I don't see this as being the way the rest of my life will be. With no passion. With anger. With depression. I choose to be a happy person. How do I continue with my life? I have done my part. I do deserve some happiness. I deserve some peace and quiet. I am conflicted.

Dan is better. He can take care of his daily needs. He can't work. He can't drive. He dreams of driving. He dreamed he was sleeping in his work clothes. He wakes thinking that he has a load to deliver.

I go through my daily routine. I work. I grocery shop. I'm buying Christmas presents. I know what I have to do for me.

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Sunday in October

2010-10-24T14:46:00.004-04:00

It has been such a long time since I checked in daily with my blog. So much has happened. Where do I begin? I rarely think of blogging.

Dan is much improved. His back is not his main problem anymore. The diabetes is controlled. The neuropathy is his "new norm". Disability has been filed and the long wait is over. The application was approved and that stress is over. I am grateful.

Danielle is still in school. Stef is still gainfully employed. The cats are good.

Today is beautiful. And I appreciate it. There can't be many more days like this. Fall is so short. I should be happier than I am.

What Exactly Does a 6,190 Calorie Lunch Do to Your Body? - The World Newser

2010-10-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

What Exactly Does a 6,190 Calorie Lunch Do to Your Body? - The World Newser

I am so Cool!

2010-06-06T14:36:00.002-04:00

I have gotten too cool here. While I was taking an unplanned vacation from blogging I got a new phone. Now I am blogging from my Blogger app. Where was this technology when I was young and uncool?

I think I am back in the saddle again. I might. be back from that unplanned vacation......

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Oatmeal Bath

2010-01-09T13:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday at lunchtime I was driving from our satellite office to our main office in Southfield. I decided to "treat" myself and stop at Speedway to get a large fountain drink. I like to get them there because I can get a jumbo Diet Pepsi and then add my own choice of syrups to give it more flavor (and calories). This is a game I play with myself when I really don't want to go to Southfield for a nasty, busy afternoon at work. Somehow, I think if I have a large drink my day will go better and I will be happier.

I park, open my car door, and jump out of the car. My forgotten cell phone falls out and lands in a snowbank. Ughhhhh! I grab it and quickly try to dry it off and stick it back into my coat pocket and forgot all about it until after my drive I try and make a call. The phone doesn't work! I can text but no talk. I am lost. I neeeeeed my phone.

I take out the battery. I dry it off. I leave it in my locker thinking that later on this afternoon it will work. Not so.

I go online and Google "I got my phone wet". I couldn't believe the amount of people that drop their phones in the toilet. It seems everyone does that. I don't feel so bad cuz mine just hit the snowbank not poop and pee. The advice was always, "Put the phone in rice and leave it for a few days". I had it in salt all evening but it still didn't work. I didn't really have a bunch of rice lying around and I had heard somewhere that salt did the same thing. When I went to bed last night I left the battery and phone in a container of oatmeal.

I realized from this experience just how sadly dependant I am on my little phone. I go everywhere with it. I take it upstairs to bed. I take it to work. I take it into the bathroom to take a shower. I don't drop it in the toilet.

This morning I took the parts out of the oatmeal and put it back together. It just felt so right in my hand. The poor case is chipped and scratched. My life is in this little phone. I don't even know Stefanie's number. It is in my phone. So I look at my contacts and I pick "Capital One" and hit send. I hear it ringing. It is a miracle. I am back in business. And I owe it all to oatmeal. I start every morning with oatmeal, especially this morning.

Gonna Take Some Time But.......

2010-01-04T18:23:00.002-05:00

I am sitting here typing away like old times. Not. But I am trying to do something normal so I can feel normal. Maybe that doesn't make sense but I felt the need to do something that I used to do before life became different.

Dan is doing better. Today while I was at work trying not to think about what he was doing, he got up, showered, dressed, and came downstairs and found something to eat all by himself. That may not sound like much but he was so exhausted after that exertion that I found him sleeping in the recliner hours later.

Back surgery is not for the faint of heart for sure. No wonder I remember my dad saying, "Never have back surgery". He wasn't kidding however Dan had no choice and so I know (and he knows) that he did the right thing. So tomorrow I will go back to work and try not to think about what he is doing on his own.

Just a New Chapter In My Life

2009-12-27T09:27:00.000-05:00

Wow where has the time gone? Thanksgiving has come and gone. Christmas is over. I haven't posted in over a month. I am behind on reading my favorite blogs. One of my followers has passed away. Life has continued and I am missing it.

I have no time for the gym. I have no time for myself. I don't get more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep at a time. Dan spent 11 nights in the hospital and 20 nights in rehab. Now he is home.

I check blood sugars twice a day. I enforce regular mealtimes despite Dan's protestations of not being hungry. I am keeping a log of blood sugars and will call them in weekly. I keep a schedule in my head of pain meds and keep in touch with the back surgeon's office and the PCP's office. Yesterday I made 2 trips to the pharmacy and had to talk to an on-call physician regarding meds that were supposed to be called in but weren't. Life is difficult and different.

We are now going to try and eliminate the drugs that are making him so sleepy that he not only doesn't want to get out of bed, he can't walk safely to the bathroom alone. I jump up constantly day and night to make that walk to the potty so he doesn't fall.

All this said, Dan's surgery looks perfect. He is healing well. Now for the hard part.......feeling better and getting stronger. I wish to thank everyone for the good wishes and the concern. Life will return to normal and so will we.

Unoffical Holiday

2009-11-22T09:27:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid and my mother was struggling with Multiple Sclerosis I remember her having days where she was teary eyed and sad. When I would ask her what was wrong she would say to me that it was "Feel Sorry For Virginia Day". The next day things were back to normal and we went on with our life. She knew she couldn't dwell on life's complications and waste her precious time feeling sorry for herself. Hopefully I learned from that example.

Today isn't marked on the calendar but it is officially "Feel Sorry For Janet Day". I am celebrating by myself and then I will fold some laundry and run to the store for green beans and my Sunday paper.

Dan spent his third night in the hospital after his back surgery. I think he is doing OK but his legs are very weak and I am worried about dealing with the home situation. Meanwhile he is anxious to come home to recuperate. I am so afraid he will fall. He doesn't want to go to rehab. He also won't eat if I'm not at the hospital ordering his food.

I'm glad this holiday doesn't come around often.

Yes We Have One More Day

2009-11-18T07:15:00.000-05:00

Today we call the hospital for the arrival time for tomorrow's surgery. We were already told it might be 530 am. No sleep for us as Dan plans on staying up all night so he will be ready on time.

Last night as Dan was heading for the stairs to go to bed, I told him, "You know you are driving us crazy". He replied, "I'm driving myself crazy". Hmmmmm. That's interesting.

He crawled up the stairs on his hands and knees with me pushing from behind. This will be the last time until the surgery. Life has become interesting. Not good. Just interesting. Challenging for sure.

We actually slept last night. I'm sure Stefanie slept also as Dan wasn't up all night walking around bumping into things and stomping his numb feet. Danielle wasn't taking any chances as she didn't come home.

Off to work I go for my last day. Dan will sleep in as he isn't going anywhere today.

Two Days to Go

2009-11-17T06:28:00.000-05:00

I actually slept last night. Of course Dan woke me up a few times. My head shot off the pillow but I heard nothing for a nano second and exhaustion took over and I fell back to sleep.

Danielle was not so lucky and she yelled downstairs at us this morning to be quiet. It wouldn't be so bad if he slept at night while the rest of us are desparately trying to get some tidbits of sleep. No, he roams around all night, bumping into things, stomping his numb feet so he doesn't fall and basically makes us all miserable. Water boarding would be nothing compared to this torture.

Well off to work for the day. Dan will nap in the recliner while the rest of us try to function. Thank heaven for hot coffee. Two more days until the back surgery. Hopefully the hospital will turn him around and he will sleep at night so the rest of us can too.

Three Days to Go

2009-11-16T18:22:00.000-05:00

I think part of my problem with this countdown of days is the constant cooking. I am not used to Dan being home so much and he is used to being able to belly up to the food bar whenever he wanted to at his favorite truckstops across the country.

We barely finish one meal and he is talking about the next meal. And the shopping and the planning. I want out! Help! I need sleep. And who knows when I am going to get that night's sleep. I am a whiner. Officially. I said it. Three more days.

Four Days To Go

2009-11-15T18:59:00.000-05:00

I get up this morning and come dowmstairs for coffee. Dan is in the recliner in front of the TV. I take a sip of my coffee and Dan proclaims, "When you are done here, I will let you know what I want for breakfast."

I offer up eggs and toast. He says, "No. I want a big salad".

I visualize chopping vegetables with one eye as I wasn't properly caffienated yet. It takes two big mugs of coffee to get both eyes open.

This is going to be a long week.

Five More Days

2009-11-14T12:15:00.003-05:00

Five more days until Dan's surgery. On Thursday we went to Dan's primary doctor and got the EKG and the official "blessing" from that doctor to go ahead with the surgery. Dan finally understands he cannot take any Ibuprofen until after the surgery. When his doctor explained why, he merely sat and nodded and said, "Oh, I didn't know that". When I had explained it, he said, "I don't care! I need it"!

It is going to be a long 5 days. Dan's days and nights are turned around. I need a good night's sleep. So do the girls. Danielle yelled at me this morning as she was headed out for her volunteer work with "Habitat For Humanity" and then work after that. Dan's voice is loud and our walls are paper thin evidently. Dan doesn't understand how his voice carries and when I remind him, he gets mad at me. So Danielle blames me and so does he. Five more days......

I Have Won 2 Battles But The War Isn't Over Yet

2009-11-09T19:15:00.002-05:00

This caretaking thing wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have to fight about everything. I say, "Your feet are swelling. You should put your feet up. You are sitting in a recliner you know".

He replies, "I don't want to".

I reply, "People with swollen feet don't have a choice. Now RECLINE Damn it"!

The next day, I say casually, "We need to get a stool for the shower so you can sit and use the attachment to rinse off".

Husband replies, "I don't want a stool. I want my back FIXED"!

I say, "I know you do but for now we need a stool for the shower".

After a fun-filled afternoon of the husband going in and out of the shower to rest/soap up/rest/rinse off he admits we need a stool for the shower.

Wish I had thought of that.

Uncharted Waters

2009-11-07T14:17:00.003-05:00

Dan is officially at home now. We cleaned out his truck last Friday night. It was not fun. I knew this day was coming but that didn't make it any easier. I drove there after work and packed up my car in the dark and in the pouring rain and we came home. We had a late dinner at his favorite Grand Rapids restaurant, Arnie's. That was the only pleasant aspect of the evening.

This past week he has spent much of his time sitting in the recliner in the living room. Getting upstairs is "like climbing Mount Everest" to put it lightly. His back surgery is set for November 19th. I am looking forward to it.

I feel like we are entering a new phase of our lives. We are entering into "uncharted waters" and I don't like it. No one asked me what I like. No one asked Dan. I didn't want to end the last chapter.

I am afraid to spend any money as we don't know how this is even possible financially. He has no disability money to look forward to. I even asked the Physician Assistant yesterday at our appointment if we should just file now for permanent disability and he told me not to. We need to do the surgery first and then evaluate. I pay my mortgage with what? I am thankful I don't have a car payment. I can only stretch meals so far. Four people eat a lot of food. Four cats eat a lot of cat food and don't even get me started on the amount of cat litter they use!

I am taking this new chapter day by day. That is all anyone can do. When I think of Christmas coming and Stefanie's birthday on it's way, I get a scared feeling in my veins. I know the girls are not children waiting on Santa but still,,,,I don't want to totally disappoint them. And I do know they can take disappointment.

Well, off to the grocery store. I have my list, my coupons, and my returnables. Life will be good again.

October

2009-10-24T15:28:00.003-04:00

October makes me think of many things, some happy things and some sad. My dad died in October. I think of taking the kids trick-or-treating when they were little. I think of how excited they were for Halloween parties. We used to always go to the cider mills and buy warm donuts and ice cold cider. I love October for many reasons. I remember raking leaves into the street as a child and jumping in them. I remember the smell of burning leaves. I can't believe they let me as a small child light the match and they were in the house....Times have changed.

Every October Danielle remembers a friend that died. It has been 9 years. He was good looking, 16 and popular. And he was murdered. The town mourned. Things like that didn't happen here. This is the story written by Mitch Albom. A friend of Danielle's had posted it on Facebook for anyone from New Baltimore to remember. I remember coming home from work at night and seeing Danielle on TV in the funeral procession walking to the cemetary from the church. I saw her in her Varsity Dance Uniform dancing at the soccer game. I saw her grieve. And every evening she and I went over and over the situation. What do you tell your grieving child to make her feel better? Years later she still questions what happened and why. It will never make sense and it will never be explained. Here is Mitch's article....A Bullet's impact. I know it is long but it is a really good article.

Should Be An Interesting Weekend For The Rowley Family

2009-10-15T06:33:00.001-04:00

It is going to be a Rowley family weekend. Dan's niece is getting married in Indianapolis on Saturday. Grandma is coming up from Florida. Danielle and her boyfriend are driving down on Friday. Stef and I are bringing up the rear and leaving on Saturday morning.

We arranged for a cat sitter for Saturday night and we will be back home on Sunday. Dan can't go as he is out and about in his truck. He is in too much pain for a family celebration anyway.

The girls both bought new dresses. I'm wearing one from last year but it has only been worn once so it's like new to me. Besides no one will be looking at me anyway.

Hope this weekend goes well. Hope we all have fun and I hope they live happily ever after.....

Thank You Carolyn

2009-10-10T12:29:00.001-04:00

Fw: At last!
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This isn't the post I thought I was going to do today. Funny how that works sometimes. I had planned on detailing my Friday goings on and how I went to the gym after work and how it rained all day and was cold and ugly. Stefanie and I went out for comfort food for a late dinner (patty melt from a family restaurant where you get a lot of food for not much money) and then I got the call from Dan.......in southern Virginia in his semi on a dirt road, overlooking a precipiece, in the dark, can't turn around, can't see how to get out from where he had gotten himself stuck,,,all because he thought he would try and find a Chinese restaurant with a driver he had just met. The other driver went on through and Dan couldn't.......

Instead I get an email from the long lost Carolyn my friend that I was able to reconnect with recently and she had forwarded me a picture from our lunch this summer in Fort Wayne. This is it!!!!

I am in the back row (where all tall girls went in grade school when any picture was taken) in the pink shirt. Carolyn is in the front row in the blue button down shirt. To the right of her in red is Jana (we have been friends since before kindergarten). Diana is the one on the right in the first row. I have known her since kindergarten. She is the one that told me the facts of life. But then she told me that it wasn't true and not to believe it. I believed her. Both versions.

This one get-together this summer gave me a much needed respite from my life at a much needed time. I was so grateful these people included me for a couple of hours and I got to relive a more carefree time. Many of these people in the picture have serious health issues . One has Multiple Sclerosis. Some have had cancer. For this one afternoon we just shared our thoughts and hashed over some good old times and ate.

Thank you Carolyn. Thanks Jana and Diana and Debbie. Thank you taking the picture Kathy (You look great by the way). Thank you to Joan for orchestrating the whole thing.

I hope I get to see everyone next summer at our high school reunion.

I Think I Have Lost My Identity????

2009-10-07T18:00:00.002-04:00

OK so I still know who I am I think but I had to go to a new hair stylist and she works a bit differently than my last girl. She washes the hair, cuts the hair, straightens curly unruly hair (that's me) and then cuts it again. And you are done. Out the door with straight hair. When I left the salon I swear I didn't even recognize me in the rear view mirror. My daughters liked it. Dan liked it. My co-workers liked it.....

What is really funny is that I can actually do it myself and it looks OK. Not me but OK.

Even funnier, today I just did the old usual thing with my hair. I washed it, dried it with the diffuser like I used to. I put some gel in it and scrunched. Like old times. However, it looked awful. Not the old me. Not the new me. Who is me?

September 28

2009-09-28T22:05:00.000-04:00

Today is the 41st anniversary of my mother's death. No matter how old I am every time this day comes around I am 16 again. I have never been able to resolve the issues I have. I continue to be a little crazy. I will always be 16.

Confession Sunday

2009-09-20T15:59:00.000-04:00

I sat in the Dollar Tree parking lot all by myself and satisfied a many year craving by eating cotton candy. I have no idea where this came from but while I was shopping there just browsing around the store I saw the package. I knew I had to have it and now. And it was great! And then I went on with my day thankful for the hand sanitizer that I keep in my car.

All The World's A Stage

2009-09-12T12:40:00.005-04:00

There hasn't been a lot to laugh about at our house lately but I wanted to share this. I am the only one in the household to think it is so funny but here goes....

Scene: One dark, rainy Friday night in late summer at the Rowley house.

Time: 11pm

Players: Danielle (oldest daughter) home alone waking after her nap.

Stefanie (younger daughter) arriving home after a evening of fun and
frolics.
Dan and I are arriving home after a long trip to pick Dan up from his
truck in Grand Rapids after 30 days out as an over-the-road truck driver.

Action: Danielle decides to slip into the attached garage to get her textbooks out of her car so she can study. She is wearing her underwear. She has the garage light on so she can see to find her car.

First Complication: Stefanie parks in her designated parking spot and hits the button to open the garage door. She gets out of her car, slams the car door and runs for the house in the pouring down rain.

Second Complication: Dan and I turn into the driveway. At this point Danielle is the "deer caught in the headlights" in her underwear with the overhead light on. She panics. Dan (not noticing Stefanie running alongside our car heading for the garage) hits the button to open the garage door. The garage door closes at this point giving Danielle a moment to run back into the safety of the laundry room to grab a pair of scrubs lying on the dryer. Good thing Stefanie never puts her clothes away.

Third Complication: I see Stefanie standing in the rain by the closed garage door. I hit the button to open it for her explaining to Dan what has just happened while Dan hits the button to open the door and actually is closing the door again on poor Stef. She is glaring at me while I am laughing hysterically.

Conclusion: We finally get the garage door open. We drive in. Stefanie sloshes in. Danielle gets the books out of her back seat. We all go into the house and live happily ever after. The End.

Am I Being Compulsive?

2009-08-24T19:06:00.003-04:00

I am certain that I am not the only one that has this problem. No one talks about it. No one seems to understand my dilemma here. My inbox is full. I sit down to read my email and each one seems to be something that requires more attention than I seem to have at this moment. I put it in a folder or I just leave it to read thoroughly later.

Later when I see all my emails I think, "Oh, I am waaaay too busy right now. I need to come back later and read this and then delete it." And I sign out.

My phone has the same problem. My inbox is constantly full of text messages. I read and delete and read some more. Delete, delete, and I am still in the danger zone. Some are so cute I have to save them. Some are so sad I can't delete. I have text messages from the day my poor cat died. I can't hit the delete button on that day.

I have the same problem with library books. I would rather pay an overdue fine than return an unread book. It is just wrong to send a book back to the library without finishing every page. I finish a book even when I don't like it. I always think that there will be some redeeming quality in every book. I may learn just one thing....

I need to sign off now. I have an overdue DVD from the library, The Shield Season ? and it's overdue and I haven't finished it.

Stefanie's New Blog

2009-08-19T19:02:00.003-04:00

It took me by surprise but Stefanie decided to start her own blog. You can find it at Trials and Tribulations of Stefanie. I think she has learned a lot by her recent troubles and I am very proud of her.

Libby likes purple claws

2009-08-15T12:25:00.002-04:00

libby likes purple claws_0001.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I have had enough of my whining lately so I decided to show what types of activities I engage in in my spare time. And no Libby did not like putting her fake nails on but I think she is used to them now.

Jack isn't getting fake nails as he is so sweet that he only scratches in pre-approved scratching areas like scratching pads, etc.

Simba got black fake nails as he hasn't quite figured out the scratching idea. He prefers the leather recliner.

Another Day in the Life

2009-08-12T19:10:00.003-04:00

So I am driving along minding my own business after work. I am not very happy. I feel sorry for myself today and Dan and the situation we are in. The next round of doctor appointments for Dan is a few weeks away. His pain is worse. His balance is worse. I have alot to think about.

I picked up my phone (a very bad habit) and texted Stefanie as she had been strangely quiet today, meaning I hadn't received any text messages from the queen of texting. I feel guilty using my phone for no good reason on the expressway, so I toss it on the seat next to me.

I look over at it. It is still there. I pick it up again to see if she answered me. She did. I send a quick text. And toss it again on the seat. I look at it longingly. I pick it up. I toss it aside. I am thinking to myself that if I have an accident because of my texting I am going to be very sorry.

Suddenly all the traffic stops. I look in my rear mirror at the car behind me. Whew! I am OK. He stops. I take my foot off the brake and hit the accelerator. We stop again but not suddenly this time. Bammmmmm! He hits me. My phone flies to the floor. I tense up and haven't gone back to normal yet. Now I am mad. I pull over and get out of the car to look at my rear bumper. Scratched but not too unslightly. I expected way worse.

I look around and I seem to be alone. I had pulled off the left side of the expressway in between construction barrels. Way in the distance I see an old minivan on the right shoulder. A chubby man in a Hawaiin shirt with baggy shorts is looking at his front bumper. That has to be my guy. He gets back in his car and uses his phone.

So I get back into my car and call the police. While we are waiting for the State Police to arrive I see him trying to get my attention. He is motioning to his watch on his wrist and throwing his hands in the air. Oh no buster we aren't just going to drive off. I want him to get a ticket now. I'm pissed.

The officer came. I saw him hand the guy a ticket. And he escorted me back into the crazy traffic. I feel better but now my shoulder doesn't feel right and I'm sure I will wake up with a stiff neck. This poor little black car has been rear-ended so many times. Poor little car. Poor me.

Well, now I have something new to think about.

When Memories Attack

2009-07-25T13:59:00.001-04:00

I just had a long buried memory come to me. How weird is that when something you had totally forgotten comes to the surface? I was reading a post from Vodkamom and I remembered something from my childhood.

My friend Sue and I were walking across the street in our hometown and we were having a conversation as kids do. Sue was having a hard time keeping a secret and just had to tell me. As kids do. She told me that the women at her church had taken up a collection to buy my mother a new washing machine.

Now this was a big deal for us as my mother had been hand washing lots of her clothes as we could only get to the Laundromat once a week and she was in a wheelchair all day while my father slept. He worked nights so he could be home with her during the day. I was in school during the day and spent nights sleeping downstairs to be near her in case she needed something while he was at work. Many times I saw my mother hand washing small items and hanging them on a rack to dry in the downstairs bathroom.

Money was tight in our family as my mother had to quit work when her illness became worse. She had her own hair salon when I was young but gradually tapered her business down to nothing as the Multiple Sclerosis became more debilitating. Her health insurance was cancelled because of her illness. My father was the only breadwinner and her first Social Security Disability check didn't come until the day she died. She had a hard time proving she was disabled evidently to the government.

Anyway, when my mother found out about the washing machine she cried. I think that was the first time I ever saw her cry over something that made her happy.

My 100th Post Was a Long Time A-Coming

2009-07-15T18:49:00.011-04:00

It has been quite an experience writing this blog. I have met some amazing, witty, kind, talented people. I have met people that I feel a real connection with. I have met people that I enjoy reading and they actually read my drivel in return. I have received much more than I have given.

My first commenter many posts ago was Far Side. I was so pleasantly surprised when I saw that I had a comment about my cat Bob. I went on and on about how poor Bob got sick and how he passed away. I cried when I wrote it. It made me feel better but sad anyway.

And then I met Jeanne and Andrea. They are so different but I just enjoy them so much. I was Andrea's first follower. Now she has over 100 and growing....Her photography amazes me. I love her animals. I know them by name. And Far Side's old family photos remind me so of my grandparents and my parents. I love to look at them on "Wistful Wednesdays". Jeanne is so smart and such good entertainment. I felt a connection with her the first time I read her blog. She is a friend.

My first follower Suzanne is a grade school friend. She is always there for me and has never commented but I know she read all about our history teacher and heard about my grade school embarrassing moment for the first time. I hadn't even told her about sitting on T's head and smashing it into the playground!!!!

I have told all of you about my father leaving me at the park at the family reunion and taking me to the gypsy camp on Easter Sunday after our fifth grade teacher reminded us not to go there because "gypsies steal children". I have more stories about my dad taking me to poor families on Christmas Eve and leaving my gently used toys for them as Christmas presents. Their families couldn't afford a Christmas and he thought that my toys would help them be a bit happier. I hope it worked.

I have mentioned many times how my mother died young and I felt so abandoned at age 16. I never mentioned how my dad married the "Wicked Witch of the West" a month and a half after my mother's death and basically turned his back on me and my brothers and left me at a crucial time in my life. I forgave him later but it still hurts and I can cry at the drop of a hat. One day I will tell the story of my stepmother and you can make up your own mind.

I have whined about my husband's back problems and talked about all his medications and how he loses his balance and falls down. I don't know how much longer he can work. There I go whining again.

I have talked endlessly about my cats. I told you how my poor Bob got sick and died on election day. I talked about Stefanie's cats. And I even showed a video of my friend's cat punching me. I'm sure you are sick of my cats. But I love them and I am sure that T isn't sick of them. She is the biggest cat lover I have ever come across. Bless her.

And of course, I talk about my daughters. I complain about them. And I love them soooo much. They are amazing. They are beautiful inside and out. And they are the best thing I have ever done. I am so lucky.

There you have my year in review. I have so enjoyed writing these posts. And I hope maybe you have enjoyed reading them. Thank you for being there for me. And commenting. And emailing me when you haven't heard from me for a while. All that means so much. Thank you.

Stefanie is Gainfully Employed at Last

2009-07-13T18:44:00.003-04:00

I have been very lax lately. I think about blogging. I read a couple of my favorite blogs and something stops me from starting a new post. I am just not feeling it lately.

Anyway, just a quick note to let everyone know that Stefanie DID get a new job. Yay!!!! She found this job all on her own and had two interviews and landed it all by herself (with lots of coaching from me but that doesn't count). I am very proud of her and she seems to be doing fine. She is a bit surprised to find out that she knows nothing. She is quite overwhelmed actually by all that she doesn't know. She is used to jobs where after a brief training period she knows everything there is to know.

Not so here at the optometrist's office. She has lots to learn and will continue learning until she quits. She even made flashcards yesterday to help her learn new terms. We talk "optical talk" every evening. I will continue to do what I can to help her without interfering (I hope).

I plan to be back in blogging order shortly just in time for my 100th post. See you then.

Sniff, Sniff, Snort!!!!

2009-07-06T11:21:00.002-04:00

Anyone else ever use the computers in the library? It really is wonderful to have these computers at our disposal. I can check email, research any material I can think of, and browse to my heart's content. I love the library.

So what am I going to complain about you might wonder? My computer neighbors always have a cold or sinus troubles. It doesn't matter when I come here, day or night I seem always to get the same annoyance. My neighbor to the right of me sniffs and my neighbor to the left of me snorts. They never have a tissue. I never see them blow their noses. After a while, I am just about ready to offer them one of mine.

The other problem is the cursing over the computer and or website they are on. Personally I am not interested in the trouble they are having. However, constantly I am hearing complaints about what they are trying to do. I would assume that these are the same people that cannot read to themselves without mouthing the words aloud.

There is also one gentleman that wears earbuds and just browses through pictures, etc. He has to have major sinus problems and is there everytime I go to the library. Lovely. Sniff, sniff, snort!!!!

The Importance of Being Janet

2009-07-02T17:38:00.004-04:00

Last Saturday I left my normal Saturday routine of grocery shopping and vacuuming and drove to Indiana to visit with a bunch of women that I went to high school with. Actually one girl went to kindergarten with me and several went to my grade school. I ran into construction, an accident, and had several stops as I did take my 57 year old bladder with me.

But I am so glad I went. We laughed, ate, and reminisced over old times. We talked about the grade school principal, other people we went to school with, our kids, our husbands, and most of all, we took a few hours out of our weekend to connect with our roots. Sometimes I forget where I came from and who I used to be. These people knew the old me. The policeman's daughter, the athlete's sister, the history buff's sister, and my mother's daughter. They knew the original me, the person I used to be before I left home sad and hurt. They knew "Janet" not "Jan". I left "Janet" back in Plymouth, Indiana. I don't know her anymore, but for a few hours last Saturday I became that person again. And I had fun.

I am so grateful for being included in the group even for just one afternoon. I am grateful for the laughter, and the companionship of old friends. Now I am back at home and back at work and in a few minutes I will be back in the grocery store. However, I am just a little bit changed. I remember being "Janet" and it wasn't bad after all.

Updates

2009-06-22T18:24:00.002-04:00

Stef is at a job interview right now. Keep your fingers crossed.

The cats are happy happy and that means fighting when I am trying to sleep. In fact, they fight right on top of me. I definitely have a front row seat.

Dan is disappointed. We just came from a doctor's appt and his doctor has to send us to another doctor because he thinks he must be missing something. The new CT scan just doesn't show why Dan is in so much pain. Where is the answer?

Danielle is good. Working. Making money. And has a big bouquet of flowers from the boyfriend. We keep them up on top of the entertainment system. So high in fact, that she forgot that he even sent them. Jack has the tendency to eat flowers so the higher the better.

And thank you for all the nice thoughts you guys sent my way. My pity party is over. People have way worse problems than me so I need to get on with it. I am planning on driving to Indiana for lunch on Saturday to meet up with a bunch of girls I went to high school with. That should give me some well needed laughs I'm sure.

I Need Some Comforting Words

2009-06-10T18:22:00.004-04:00

I need to reach out to all my bloggy friends for some comforting words. I could say, "Don't worry. Things will be OK. Everything happens for a reason. All this will make Stefanie (and me) stronger in the end. Your husband will be all better after back surgery. Danielle will be happy and make lots of money. All three cats will be happy. There, there. Don't' worry. Be happy".

See I know all the words but when I say them I am not believing them. I need you guys. Comforting words always sound better coming from a friend. This is the scenario in my house right now.......

1). Danielle is starting back at one of her old jobs and will be making better money. That in turn will make her happier. And she is on the Dean's List for this past semester. All good things.

2). Stefanie and Jay broke up and she moved back home. And no, not into her old room. She is in the basement. I just couldn't let that happen cuz I haven't even painted the old bedroom yet and it isn't ready to be trashed......

3). Simba came home with her as she didn't trust Jay to feed him and give him love. I now have three cats. And three cats is waaaaaaaay more than two cats.

4). My toe is still killing me and I have stopped going to the gym. No wonder I am stressed!!!!! I will be back at the treadmill, etc. next week. Today is the first day that the pain level is actually at a tolerable level.

5). Dan is doing worse. He is having more problem with his back. He is having problems with his balance, showering, etc. He sees his doctor later this month and is having the CT scan also. Next month is when he sees his surgeon. And his insurance is changing for the worse as of July 1st. Oh yeah, he did say that he would trade my big toe for his back. I declined.

6). And today Stefanie lost her job. Since she and Jay work together and these fellow employees love gossip and texting and such, the rumors were flying and Stef said something she shouldn't have said to one such employee and it got back to the manager, reports were filed, and Stefanie and the girl got suspended and today Stefanie was fired. Now I have been telling her to get another job for like three years because she doesn't make any money there, because she is going nowhere fast there and I predict that one day soon the place will close for lack of business. Now she has to do something. In the end, she will be better off.

Thanks for listening. Now to fix some dinner and sit on the couch. With my three cats. Maybe I could get them to say, "There, there".

I'm On a Roll Here

2009-06-06T11:54:00.001-04:00

So after my last episode where I locked myself out of the house on Saturday afternoon, the next morning I decided to do an encore....

I was planning to run out on Sunday morning to buy my two Sunday newspapers so I could sit on the couch and let my sore toe heal. I started the car and rolled back a couple of feet. The noise I heard under my car stopped my heart. I put the car in park and jumped out. The car was resting on a bowling ball!!!!When I emptied out the two brown plastic crates yesterday to use them to stand on, I neglected to put the bowling ball in a secure spot (so it wouldn't roll under my car).

Now what? The ball was stuck right where one might place a jack if one had a flat tire. I couldn't just pull it out. I twisted it and it came right out and the car let itself down to the normal position (without a bowling ball).

I drove to the store to buy my newspapers and came home and stayed in the house the rest of the weekend.

Some people just shouldn't be left home alone.

Some People Just Shouldn't Be Left Home Alone

2009-06-04T18:22:00.003-04:00

OK so in my mind I fantasized a weekend where I would eat what I wanted, go where I wanted, and read for hours on end lying on the couch eating out of the ice cream carton. It started out that way seriously.....

I had a real nice Saturday doing exactly as I pleased. I went to the library, shopped at Meijer, sat outside in the grass with my two cats. The weather was nice. I was happy. The cats love being outdoors and I had them in their harnesses and tied their leashes together. For some reason when cats are on leashes they really don't go anywhere. That is why you can't walk a cat on a leash like a dog. And since I tied the leashes together and cats can't agree on a direction, they just hang out and enjoy the day. We sat in the front yard and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Life was good.

Then I decided to water my flowers and had to run in the house to fill my water pitcher. I watered the hanging baskets but when I tried to get back into the house through the garage I realized I was locked out of the house!!!!! Again!!!!! The garage door just locks whenever it feels like it and has been doing this to me for years. Some people just don't learn from their previous bad experiences.

The last time I locked myself out I took the ladder from the garage and pried the dining room screen out and climbed in head first onto a dining room chair. This time my heart sank as I realized that the ladder was upstairs in Stef's bedroom. I used it to pull down the wallpaper border last weekend. So now my brain went into overdrive. I emptied two brown plastic crates from the garage, and stood on the two stacked crates. I am tall but I still couldn't get myself up to the right height. My windows are higher than I remembered. So in a burst of mental activity I ran around the house and emptied 150 feet of garden hose out of the plastic deck box. I ignored the bees buzzing in and out of the box. No time for my fear of bees today.

I drag the deck box around to the side of the house and stand it on end. It is higher than the two stacked crates. Up I go on the crates and then a knee onto the deck box. I'm glad I didn't look down at this point or I don't think I would have made it into the dining room. Not fun to enter the dining room head first with your feet out in space. Also nice to know that someone had to have seen me do this and I guess they just chuckled to themselves and drove on by.

Meanwhile the two leashed and harnessed cats are just eating grass and gazing around enjoying themselves. I come out of the house and put away the crates and then drag the deck box back onto the deck and I am so tired at this point that I don't lift my foot high enough on the top step and trip, stub my big toe and fall down onto the box. Up I go and back goes the hose into the box. The cats and I go inside and onto the couch I go with ice on my toe.

Odd Weekend

2009-05-30T14:42:00.003-04:00

I am spending an odd weekend. I think I'm alone for an entire weekend. I can do what I want. I can eat what I want. I can watch what I want on TV. I can read a book on the couch and not move for an entire weekend.

Years ago (all my life actually) I have wanted time alone. That was a real source of contention between my and my husband back in the 70's. I wanted him to go home so I could have some alone time and he wouldn't go. Thinking back, I don't think he had anywhere to go but that would be the subject of another blog post.

Once, my mother-in-law took my kids to Florida with her and I was alone. It took me about a week to realize that I didn't have to race home after work and that I could actually run down the road for an ice cream cone if I so desired to. Then the kids were back home and my free time was over.

My husband is in New Jersey in his truck. Danielle is working/house-sitting with her boyfriend. Stef pops in and out but I normally don't see her that often. Last week was an exception as her cable was shut off and she showed up at home three days in a row. Now the cable is back on and I don't expect her anytime soon.

I bought a harness for the kitten to take her outside as the two cats are insane about the outdoors and they slip outside every chance they get even as I am screaming, "You are not going out, absolutely not, No No" and they are both outside running around the driveway and I am running around after them. I plan to hook both of their harnesses to the leash and just let them enjoy the weather.

I went to Meijer and bought food for these people that probably aren't coming home this weekend. I bought a new hanging flowering basket on sale. I went to the library for myself. I added a follower to my Twitter account even though I think Twitter is stupid and I haven't tweeted in a coon's age.

I actually ate lunch. Never do that on a Saturday as I have always been too busy running errands or something. My husband asked my daughters once, "When are you two going to leave Mom alone"? I was always running them somewhere or picking them up and taking friends home after.

I am thinking that I will have a "Damages" marathon tonight and tomorrow. I have the DVD from the library. I can have pizza tonight and I won't have to hear, "I don't feel like pizza". Maybe I will skip dinner and just have dessert. Who's going to tell on me?

Actually I have a feeling that someone came home while I was sleeping last night. When I went to bed the coach lights were off and today when I got up the lights were on. That's the thing about adult children. You never know when they are going to pop in. They have keys and cars and they don't need a ride home.

Way Too Many Random Thoughts

2009-05-20T17:45:00.004-04:00

The other night I laid awake thinking about my husband's back problems and came to a decision. In the morning I told him that I think he should go ahead with the new tests, see the back surgeon and agree to go ahead with the surgery. After the surgery, file for disability and quit truck driving for good.

As usual when I told him my thoughts, he said that he was going to wait until December as planned and use his vacation time and just put up with all his problems until then. A few hours later, he totally changed his mind and said OK to do the surgery this summer. This reversal is so typical of him.

On another note, I received the nicest email from an old friend from grade school. We had lost contact with each other when I lost her address. My fault. My brother called her cousin and got the new address for me a few months ago. I lost that. My fault again. Then somehow accidently she found my email address buried in a forwarded group email and wrote to me. This time I will not lose the address. I will not lose the address. And my old friend actually read my blog. And she liked it. Maybe it was just the wine she drank while she read all my drivel.....

Stefanie still owes me money for her last phone bill and for her brake job on the vehicle that she didn't want any input from me and bought anyway......She stopped in last night while we weren't home and ate some cookies and picked up her cat.

Haven't seen Danielle lately. I am sure she's fine. She will surface soon....

The cats are happy and trying to escape outside every chance they get. Jack is trying to teach Libby (the kitten) how to remove the screen in my front door to escape. Bad cabin fever affects cats too.

The weather is beautiful. I have cabin fever too. And I have discovered that since I am a member of a gym I don't walk outside anymore for exercise. Funny because I always said gyms were stupid. "All you need to exercise is a pair of tennis shoes".

I have noticed that many bloggers have slowed down on writing and commenting. I think they may have cabin fever too.

Not happy about Shawn Johnson winning "Dancing with the Stars". I guess the deal is if you win a gold medal in the Olympics you can win the mirror ball. Wonder how Michael Phelps would do?????

Most Embarrassing Elementary School Moment

2009-05-13T18:46:00.005-04:00

Have you ever just felt like telling an embarrassing story? For no good reason? Well here goes.... I spent 6 years of my life at Webster Elementary School. When I was in 3rd grade we were obsessed with the game of Hopscotch. We played it before school, at recess, at lunch. That was back when children actually played outside. Before computers, before virtual reality, before all that stuff we really played on the playground and had fun.

We loved Hopscotch. I had my lucky stone. And I was good. Well, one day we were playing and a boy (lets call him T)was kinda hanging out with us and I think he was playing too. One of my friends? (Carol) pushed me like kids do and she pushed me quite hard. Hard enough to push me into the boy (T) and knock him down on his side onto the playground. His head went down onto the pavement like he was going to take a nap only instead of taking the nap I lost my balance completely and SAT ON HIS HEAD!!!!!! Carol couldn't do that again if she tried. She laughed. Everyone else around us laughed. T didn't laugh. I didn't laugh. Needless to say, T never played with us again. I don't think I ever spoke to him again even though we went to school together all through high school.

Webster School has been long since torn down. Most of the people living in Plymouth, Indiana have a brick from the school. There is a new Webster Elementary School in a different location now. I wonder if they play Hopscotch?

My Memories of Mother's Day

2009-05-09T12:55:00.002-04:00

I have always disliked Mother's Day. I suppose I was excited back in grade school when I made something special for my mother and grandmother. I saved a card I made for Grandma Ball that stated she was the "Greatest Grandmoth of All". Funny I didn't notice the typo then but now it is glaring.....

I do remember bringing a little Petunia home from church for my mother. I was pretty proud of that little drooping flower. Hope it made her smile.

Actually I dreaded Mother's Day long before my mother passed away. It seemed to happen every year that some well-meaning lady at our church would call my mother and let her know that she had invited me to the Mother Daughter Banquet and that I had told her that I didn't want to go. It made me sad to go with someone else's mother. I wanted my mother to be able to take me places. I didn't want to go with any other woman no matter how well-intentioned she might be. And then of course, my mom would apologize for me and accept the invitation and then tell me what time my "new mom" would be picking me up. Truthfully I don't think my mother realized how sad it made me. I think she was thinking like an adult and didn't want to hurt any one's feelings. Sometimes it would be a Sunday School teacher that had never married and had no children. Sometimes it would be a woman that had no daughters only sons. It didn't matter to me. I didn't want to go.

But I did go. And I was polite. And I was sad.

Libby's Mirror Image

2009-05-04T18:16:00.001-04:00

libbys mirror image.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Ok just one more before I move on. Danielle took this in her bedroom. Libby was confused by the mirror and you can see Jack in the background. He isn't quite so helpful or affectionate towards us anymore because he has Libby. I guess that just means that Jack prefers the company of a cat as opposed to our company. I guess that's ok as he is a cat.

I'd Rather Get It Myself

2009-04-29T17:26:00.001-04:00

0218091742.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I figure this will be my last cat picture for a while. I need to move on to a new subject but thought this was funny. When I come home from work Jack gets so excited that this day he thought he would help me fix dinner. He likes to be in the kitchen or in the living room with me or in the laundry room. He doesn't mind getting stuff out of the vegetable drawer. You just may not want to eat what he gets out of there for you......

Jack Needs Some Fresh Air

2009-04-27T18:05:00.003-04:00

0427091727.3g2
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Yesterday when my friend came to my house to pick me up she found my indoor cat Jack on the front porch. We bought him inside and while we were talking, Jack removed the screen and went outside again.

I came home from work today and got out my phone and recorded this............ How am I going to keep him inside after this??? I think he is a bit too smart for his own good.

Simba's Happy Again!!!!

2009-04-25T11:32:00.002-04:00

0425090831.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

My house has waaaay too much drama for my liking. I thought by this time in my life the kids would be off doing whatever and I would be home alone bored. I thought I would be knitting again to pass the time. I don't know what I thought actually.

It took 48 hours to cheer Simba up but Jack did it. They go everywhere together. Frick and Frack is what I called them this morning. They like to come into my bedroom in the morning (way before I planned to get up) and start their fighting routine rolling over and over biting and kicking on my rug by my bed. I just lay there and watch them play. I am so happy that Simba isn't sick. I just had never seen a depressed cat before.

Jack just didn't give up on him. Every once in a while Jack would come up to Simba and try and lick his head, and Simba would lash out at him and hiss. Poor Jackie would just look at him and almost shrug his little shoulders and walk away with his head down. So after keeping Simba in my room on Wednesday night to pamper him I left the two of them downstairs on Thursday night to do whatever cats do in the middle of the night.

On Friday morning I was awakened by the two of them fighting on the floor by my bed. I got up and the two boys ran down the stairs ahead of me to be the first cat to the food dish. I fed them and they started running around together playing and chasing just like old times. Jack had done his magic during the night. All is well.

Slight bump in the road here. Stefanie now wants Simba back. The little fluffball kitten (Libby) is starting to annoy her. Libby cries all the time, Libby chews on cords, Libby climbs the screen. Jay and Stef miss Simba now that he isn't sad. They want him home.

I get a text message yesterday at work that says, "I am dropping Libby off at a shelter Saturday and coming over to get Simba. I want him back. You guys can't have him no matter what Dad says. Simba doesn't like Libby and I don't want her anymore because I want Simba to be happy."

Now Dan and Danielle even though they are allergic to cats will not allow Libby to go to a shelter. Sooooo now I get Libby. Jack pretty much loves everyone and doesn't seem to care who comes over. Little does he know that he is getting a brand new baby sister today and losing his best friend Simba.

However Stefanie has agreed that if she takes Simba back home and he gets depressed we have to switch cats again. And Jack gets Simba back. Waaaay too much cat drama here.

People at work were cracking up laughing at me yesterday. The comments ranged from, "Wait until Stef has kids. She will have to get rid of the baby if the older child doesn't like it"! to " I am dropping the baby off at your house Mom cuz it is annoying me"!

The saga will continue........

Can Cats Get Depressed????

2009-04-22T18:03:00.003-04:00

Stefanie's cat Simba came to visit again. She and Jay got a new fluff ball kitten named Libby and Simba now sleeps all the time and won't play. Libby tries to get him to play but she is a baby and he's not interested.

Jack loves Simba and can't understand why Simba won't play with him. She left him at our house last night and all evening poor Jack kept licking Simba and biting him and trying to start their grizzly bear fighting routine and Simba's just not having it. Dan thinks that Simba is depressed. I was afraid he was sick. I checked him out this morning, petting him all over and checking his little paws. He looks fine.

When I came home from work today, I fed both cats, watched Simba use the litter box, and then watched him as he ate from the dish that Jack had just eaten off. Then I brushed him all over. He layed on the rug in the foyer and seemed to enjoy my grooming efforts. Then I got both cats interested in their favorite toy, the long stick with the tinsel and feathers on it. Jack was doing circus leaps in the air and Simba cautiously put a paw on the toy and daintily chewed on the feathers. Jack would race around in a circle after the whirling toy and Simba cocked his little head and looked at the shiny tinsel and I let him chew on it again. Finally, I hid it away so no one can pull all the feathers out and eat the tinsel.

Simba settled down for a nap and poor Jack walked around planning his next attack on his quiet friend. I left to run an errand and will see what I find when I get home. Maybe he is depressed like Dan says. I told Stef she should come over tomorrow to visit Simba. He probably misses her. How does one cheer up a cat anyway???

One of our doctor's asked me today, "How many cats do you have"? I answered "I'm not sure......"

Peace and Quiet!!!!!!

2009-04-20T18:03:00.002-04:00

The answer is pretty obvious to me and K and Far Side and Roshni et al. I finally got rid of the land line phone. I have been wanting to for a while and my husband kept asking me when I was going to do it. It just seemed so ......final.

The scene at our house at the end of a work day was this: I come in the door and the phone is ringing. Hmmmm. Someone trying to sell me new windows. I put away my things and attempt to feed the hungry cat. The phone rings. Someone wants Stefanie to pay a bill. I don't answer. I open the refrigerator to decide on what to prepare for dinner. The phone rings. I don't look at the caller id. I don't listen to any messages from earlier in the day. I don't answer the phone all evening. I look forward to 9pm when no one is allowed to call to sell me anything.

The last straw was when the phone rang, I looked at the caller id because who in their right mind just jumps up and answers the phone without looking to see who is bothering you? Well, it said "Capital One" and I thought OK I will answer it. I can be nice sometimes.

Me: Hello?

Capital One: Good bye! (computer voice)

I picked up my cell phone, called Comcast and cancelled the phone.

No regrets what so ever. Peace and quiet reigns supreme.

What is it?????

2009-04-18T12:59:00.002-04:00

I got rid of annoyance this week. Here are some clues.

1)It is something that I have wanted to do for a long time.
2)If I was younger I would have probably never have had it in the first place.
3)If I were older I would never think of getting rid of it.
4)When I moved out on my own I was so excited to have it.
5)My daughters haven't used it in years.
6)Sometimes when I came home from work I didn't even look at it all evening.
7)I won't miss it.

What is it???? And what took me so long to do it anyway? Life is great without it.

Where's Janet????

2009-04-15T18:51:00.004-04:00

Since I got such nice comments about my dad on that last post, I thought I would show his other side. Everyone has two sides I'm sure. In my family every first Sunday in August we would gather for our family reunion at the park and we always reserved the same table. My mother always said that it was the only day of the year she was happy to have Multiple Sclerosis so she didn't have to participate. I almost envied her this one.

So on this day, my dad piled us into the car for the yearly meal in the city park. Both of my older brothers went this time as did both of my dad's parents. We had a carload that day. I didn't like going to this event mainly because there was never anyone there my age. Every year there would be an article in the paper about the reunion and I was always listed as being the youngest person there. I kind of resented this when I was like 14 or 15 years old. I had some cousins that would have been fun to play with but their parents never made them go to the reunion. My dad was always the president and held the business meeting after the meal and it would have been nice to have other kids to play with when the adults were having their meeting. On this day, my dad told me to go play on the slides and swings while they had the yearly meeting and took up the collection to reserve the same table.

I played for a while in the park and when I came back to our usual spot.....everyone had gone home. I tried not to panic but no one looked the least bit familiar and I just kind of walked around and then I sat on the picnic table and waited. I remember feeling really alone. After a while, I had to move to another spot because another family reunion had reserved the table for their potluck meal. OK so now I began to worry. I knew how to get home but I was young enough that I had never actually been allowed to walk home from the park. I thought I would wait some more before starting the trek home. I would imagine that I was about 5 years old at the time.

Meanwhile back at my house, my brothers walked into the house and my mother asked, "Where's Janet?" They didn't know. My dad walked in and my mother asked, "Where's Janet?" He didn't know. Now she's mad. She could understand that my brothers didn't know (or care) where I was. She understood that my dad didn't remember that he had taken his daughter to the park and told her to go play and then left without her, but she was actually mad at his parents for not realizing that their granddaughter was missing.

So Dad decides that he needs to get ready for work before he comes to get me. On goes the police uniform and back into the car he goes. He pulls into the driveway at the park and there I sit on the picnic table. I remember being relieved when I saw him that I didn't have to walk home but then I was annoyed that he was so nonchalant that he took the time to change his clothes.

After that day it became quite the family joke about how I got left at the park. Somehow after that I really hated that reunion and dreaded going there every year.

Easter Sunday with the Gypsies

2009-04-08T18:11:00.004-04:00

I have been waiting patiently to post this. I wanted to wait until near Easter as it is an Easter memory....

When I was in the fifth grade our teacher Mrs. Shirar, being a dutiful teacher warned us of a danger in our town. We were being dismissed for the Easter weekend from school and she reminded us to stay away from the gypsy camp north of our small town. She went on to say that gypsies are known to steal children and we should tell our parents of the nearby danger. Now it is hard for me to relate to that story but there really was a group of gypsies parked in at a campground near our quiet little town.

I went home and told my father what the teacher had warned us about. Well, he laughed and told me he was going to do one better than that. He was going to take me there!!! And he did. I came home from the Easter church service and he told me that we were going to the gypsy camp. I wasn't too sure about this but he was a policeman and he had already been to the camp and told me that we were invited.

We were welcomed guests of the gypsy camp. I will always remember the pigs on huge spits roasting over the fires, the music playing, the young girls dancing, and how nice everyone was to us. They were travelling in small trailers and were all parked in a big circle. The women were wearing fur coats and had long gold necklaces made of coins. They were dancing so hard inside one of the trailers it fell off one of the supports and the trailer floor was sloping so much it was hard to stand up.

My father was offered a glass of beer which he accepted to be polite but whenever he put it down they filled it back up. So he quit putting it down and just sipped it once in a while. The alcohol was flowing quite freely as I remember.

I remember that they gave us colored Easter eggs as presents. We didn't stay for dinner but I'm sure that was offered too. My father instructed me to tell the teacher when we went back to school and she actually had me stand up in front of the class and tell everyone about my visit to the camp. I wonder now what Mrs. Shirar thought of my dad for taking me there.

The gypsy leader, Big Green ended up being taken to the hospital that night by a group of his friends. He had a bit too much alcohol and they caused quite a ruckus in the emergency room. I guess Big Green put his glass down too many times.....

Come and Spend the Morning With Me

2009-04-04T13:28:00.004-04:00

Stefanie texted me this morning to let me know she was at the brake shop waiting for them to open and to make sure I was going to pick her up like we had planned. I texted her back to let her know I would. I dressed quickly and headed down the road to get her.

We talked for a bit just standing in the kitchen like we have done for years. We always have a lot to say to each other. She told me about her new little kitten, Libby and how her older cat Simba was acting toward the new kitten. OK, let's get down to work here!!! Stef let me know that she had kind of planned on getting a nap in before she had to leave for work. Not so my dear. You are mine for the morning.

We headed upstairs and went past Danielle's closed door. Quietly we went into Stef's old room with all the odds and ends that had been left there for me to deal with. We put the twin bed in the basement, took pictures off the walls (man were they dusty!!) and the most fun of all, pulled the old dresser out from the wall and tried to figure out how the mirror was attached to it. We tried to not wake Danielle as we struggled and sweat over the awkward pieces of furniture and also tried not to step on the cat as we went. Only one time did he slip past us and ended up under Danielle's car parked in the garage. The under side of the car wasn't nearly as dirty as I thought it would be. I pulled Jack out and put him back in the house.

The old dresser fits perfectly in the garage. It will come in handy out there. I will find lots of things to use it for..... I put it on my side of the garage so I don't have to worry about Danielle driving into it. I speak from experience. I had a dented freezer out there for years before it bit the dust.

There are still bits and pieces of her childhood in the old room but I can manage them. She sorted through some memories and let me know what she wants and what she doesn't want. We found a lot of coins, trash, and Q-tips. Jack had fun. Stef and I are sore and dusty but in a good way (for me). She took a shower and dressed for work. The Jeep's brakes are good now. She owes me big time for this one. Making a payment plan. I'm standing firm on this one. Even the guys at the brake shop were quizzing her on how long she has had the vehicle and how they inspect brakes for free before you buy. I think she did learn from this experience. Enough said.

I can think of a lot of nicer ways to spend a sunny Saturday morning but we accomplished some much needed work. Actually I enjoyed her company too. I doubt if she will be back next Saturday.

Stefanie is my Captive

2009-04-01T17:50:00.004-04:00

Stefanie is all mine Saturday morning. She is dropping her new vehicle off to get a brake job (no comment) at our favorite brake shop. In order to get brakes repaired on a Saturday at our favorite brake place the vehicle has to be dropped off at 8:30am and you stand in line outside waiting for the doors to open. Everyone troops in and drops their keys off and either waits to hear the bad news or leaves and comes back later.

I will be picking her up that morning to bring her to my place to spend the morning. Perfect!!! She can spend the rest of the morning going through the bits and pieces left in her room. I have been trying to decide what color to paint the room and whether I want a "sitting room" or a spare bedroom in the place of the mess she left me with. I plan on getting every scrap out of the room and starting with a bare canvas. I can't wait. Stefanie, on the other hand isn't too excited.

If you have been reading this drivel for any time you might? remember the pictures I bravely posted of her room (January 2, 2009) I was desperate.

Pet Peeve of the Day

2009-03-28T12:34:00.003-04:00

One of my pet peeves (there are many more actually) is when I call a business (be it the cable company, gas company, electric company) and they spend 5 minutes telling me by a computer voice of course how I could easily access them on the internet.

I am calling them because I want to speak to a human being. I am not at a computer. I may be driving my car, on my 30-minute lunch break walking the corridor to get a moment of privacy or I may be sitting in my car in the parking lot. I am calling them because I need to speak to someone that can respond to questions that I may have. I do realize that these companies are online.

Am I the only person that occasionally requires the customer service department??? Sometimes I think that the company has no human beings.

So The Saying Goes.....

2009-03-25T16:27:00.003-04:00

I have been wanting to do a post with just sayings that I remember from people that used to be in my life and aren't anymore. Here goes ... with some explanation. Some sayings are self-explanatory and I will give no explanation.

These are all from my father...
1) Oh, happy day! (Whenever he was happy about something. Sometimes he clapped his hands along with it).
2) I know where my bread is buttered. (This was in regards to why we had to drive a Studebaker when all my friends parents drove cool cars. He worked at Studebaker's).
3) Don't cry over spilled milk. It could have been beer.
4) You have a champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.
5) A fool and his money.... (talking about my brother buying another antique).
6) Hey, I went on a diet one time (for a day).
7) You can go broke saving money. (his thought on buying something you didn't need and can't afford just because it was on sale).
8) My public awaits!!!! (He would be dressed in his police uniform with his lunch packed in a brown paper grocery bag and ready to leave for work)
9) He's only 15,16,17,18,22,26... (referring to my older brother that constantly tormented me and my other brother (the painter).

These are from my Grandmother Ball (the Montana homesteader/seamstress)...
1) I'm not hungry now, but if I don't eat it, I won't get any. (Referring to my constantly hungry older brothers).
2) We need a revolving door put on this kitchen (also referring to my brothers coming back into the kitchen before she could even get it cleaned up after dinner).

These are from my World History Teacher (she is discussed in a previous post "Room 100")
1) If you read trash, you will be trash.
2) The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
3) If you waste time, time will waste you.

I was wondering today what saying my daughters might remember me by. I came up with a couple....
1) Having you two girls is the best thing I ever did.
2) My life didn't even start until I gave birth to you and your sister.
I highly doubt that either will remember me saying those things but I did.

So, the other day Danielle was talking about how I hate throwing away food (this stems from my Depression Era father I'm sure) She told me she hates to throw out food because she knows that I will search through the trash and look it over and wonder why she threw such perfectly good food away. She came up with this saying, "Well the WHOLE STRAWBERRY isn't rotten!!! Nice.

Stef's New Ride

2009-03-23T17:48:00.001-04:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Well, Stefanie traded in her father's old 1992 Bonneville and came home with this 2001 Jeep Laredo. That would be a good thing I guess but I am afraid for her. The payment is high and she has never had to make a car payment before. And now she has her own car insurance and she's never had to pay car insurance before. I am very afraid but I wish her the best. She wanted to do this on her own so didn't really consult us with any details. Not much I can do.

And no her room isn't all cleaned out. I went in there and rounded up some miscellanous clothes, washed them and had her sort through them. The saga continues.

My Mother

2009-03-18T17:26:00.002-04:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This is one of the rare pictures that I have of my mother. She was born in 1919 in Montana in a log cabin. Her parents were homesteaders and had a ranch near Camas Prairie, Montana. I cannot imagine how hard their life was. I know the ranch was named "The Lazy B" and that is about all I know. They did move back to Indiana in the late 30's and my mother finished high school there.

I love the dress she is wearing in the picture. I know that her mother made all her clothes and she wished that she could buy clothes from a store. You know kids always want what they can't have. I think she was about 9 years old in the picture.

My mother died at age 48 of Multiple Sclerosis. I value every picture that I have of her. I love looking at this young, healthy child's face.

The House Next Door

2009-03-16T18:04:00.002-04:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This is a painting that my oldest brother, Chuck did when he was in his early 20's. He had just gotten out of the army and had come home to go back to school. My grandmother had just died and my parents sent my brother to stay with our grieving grandfather. Well, I think poor Grandpa drove my brother nuts and Chuck ended up outside looking at the house next door. My brother always loved interesting architecture and tended to see things the way they used to be (or should have been) and so this painting came about. When I graduated from high school I told my brother that this was my favorite painting of all those he had done and he told me that I could have this one as a graduation present. I didn't feel right about taking it out of Dad's living room and when Dad died in 1993 I brought it home.

I have taken my daughters to see the original house back in Indiana and it certainly never looked this good in my lifetime. The people that lived here never took care of it and it was quite rundown. But in my brother's mind this is how it looked.

Chuck doesn't paint anymore as his two old houses and way too many antiques take up all his time. I hope that one day he will paint again.

Lundy Hates Me

2009-03-11T22:13:00.002-04:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I spent the last week babysitting for my friend's three cats while she spent some time visiting with her parents in Florida. I go to her house morning and evening to feed the kitties and scoop the litter. Lundy is the oldest cat and is in charge of the household while his parents are out of town. He greets me at the door each time and each time he hates me more. It doesn't matter how nice I am to Lundy he punches me with his fists. This blurry dark video documents one of my visits. Please bear with me. I just had to try this on my blog.

AquaJuice is Here!!!!!!

2009-03-09T07:41:00.001-04:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I was shopping at Meijer yesterday and noticed a new product on the shelf. I passed by, did a double-take and passed by again. This is apple juice with water added and they are calling it AquaJuice. Is is me or is this ridiculous?
I have been adding water to my juice that I take to work with me everyday for years. I don't want all the sugar from regular juice and I like the taste of a little juice.
I think my Depression Era father would roll over in his grave right now if he saw this!!! We are so stupid (lazy) that we can't put our own water in our juice???

Latisse

2009-03-06T22:31:00.003-05:00

I saw something on the news the other night that I thought was worth mentioning. A new product called Latisse is now being offered to women wanting to grow long, lush eyelashes. It's pricey but something many women have wanted for a long time.

Funny that this product is a glaucoma eye drop only this time it is being marketed to women to grow longer eyelashes. It is sold with applicators so you can apply it to the sparse lashes and wait to see the lovely, dark, long lashes appear. It is kind of like a chia pet! Only it grows hair not greenery.

In this scary economic time I am not sure how many women want to spend $120 a month growing longer lashes. I would be more apt to spend that money on groceries, gas, bills, etc. Guess I'm just funny that way.

Oh, and one more thing, one of the main side effects of this medication is that it causes trichiasis (misdirected eyelashes) that have to be plucked out by a doctor. Gee, that sounds fun. But then beauty comes with a price.

You Got People in There

2009-03-01T12:56:00.004-05:00

One of our patients told me a story the other day about her grandchild. She told the 5 year old grandson that she was going to the eye doctor. The grandson replied, "Did you know you got people in there?"

"What? What do you mean?" she asked him.

Grandson replied as he got up real close to her so he could look her in the eye, "My mom said you have 'people' in there, inside your eye".

So I dilated the grandmother's "people" (pupils) and let her have a seat in the reception area for 15 minutes so the doctor could look at her optic nerve.

Update on My Life

2009-02-28T17:41:00.003-05:00

I haven't had much to say these past couple of days. I do have some topics running around in my head. However none seemed appropriate for my mood. These are some of my random thoughts.....

Stefanie is moving today into a new apartment with heat, dishwasher, washer, dryer, and toilets that flush! That is an improvement over the last place. Danielle said Stef's last place should have been condemned. She couldn't get over the slanting floor in the living room, not to mention the lack of heat in the place. I am currently babysitting for their cat, Simba so he wouldn't get in the way of the big move. As I am writing this Simba and our cat, Jack are fighting quietly in the living room. No one is crying or hissing. I think that is a good sign.

Dan's debit card is cancelled. We received the form letter from the bank explaining that his debit card numbers had been "compromised" and they were doing us a favor by cancelling his card. He is finishing the last few days of his month over the road. He took the news well actually. Of course, he stockpiled some cash when he heard the news as his card is good through today and then he's on his own. Truckers never know how much cash to keep on hand because they never know where they will be sent next and how many tolls they will have to pay. For example the George Washington Bridge in New York City costs a semi $40. And they have to go back over it again to return to civilization. Such is the life of a truck driver.

When Dan comes home this time he is going in for his 3rd injection in his spine. I hope he gets some relief. He is still in a lot of pain from arthritis in his spine and a pinched nerve. Shot number 1 and 2 helped but there is room for improvement.

Danielle is still looking for a job that suits her better. The job market here is not pretty. Stefanie needs to find a new job..... but that is an ongoing story.

The gym thing is going well. I seriously enjoy going in there and sweating and pushing myself to do the time on the elliptical and on the treadmill. I think it helps my stress level as long as I don't look at my phone to see the missed calls and missed text messages. A few days ago I made the mistake of looking at my phone to see the text, "I broke my left contact in two pieces". And the next text was, "Call me". That kind of ruined my workout. Yesterday after work I parked my car in the lot at the gym and looked over to find out that I had left my gym bag at home. So much for Friday's workout!

Danielle's boyfriend sent her flowers yesterday, "Just Because" and Jack has been trying to eat them ever since.

I changed my clickable link color to pink on my blog so people can find it. I think it is working. The video on my sidebar is a guy Danielle used to work with at a sports bar in Troy. He is pretty good. I have watched his dance quite a few times I have to admit. The other clips are from his figure skating career. Thought they were interesting. He has his own channel on YouTube - Dustbustr5. I didn't even know you could have your own channel!

I never did get my Paczki so when I saw some Entenmanns donuts marked down to half price today I bought some. I don't think it is good to deprive yourself of something that you wait all year for. I will eat them next year.

Hmmmm. I am starting to think about pizza. Talk to you later.

Tea for the Widow

2009-02-25T06:55:00.004-05:00

This morning as I was making my morning coffee I was listening to the news on the kitchen radio. The story was about how some companies want to cut out retiree health insurance. The company is in bankruptcy and in order to cut costs they are asking the judge if they can stop paying benefits to all their retirees. They were saying that back when our parents and grandparents got a job the company took care of us "from cradle to grave". Times are different now....

I remembered a story that a coworker told me when I worked at NuVision. She was several years older than I and her father had been the butler for the Edsel and Eleanor Ford household many years ago. This is the mansion that I had taken both of my daughters to visit. The home is beautiful and well-preserved and open for tours. She told me stories about how her older sisters remembered the Hollywood stars attending the big parties at the mansion and how she used to stand at the end of the sidewalk and wait for her father, the butler to come home for lunch each day. She remembered how they summered in Maine with the Ford Family, living in a little cottage on the property. She told me of lobster cooked on the beach and how much fun she had every summer.

The last summer she spent in Maine was the summer that her father, the butler died in that little beach cottage. They had to wait for the medical examiner to pronounce her father dead after his heart attack. Mrs. Ford came into the cottage and made tea for the butler's mother and sat with the family until the medical examiner arrived to do his job. My friend talked so respecfully of Eleanor Ford and appreciated that act of kindness so many years ago. And so did her mother.

Many years had gone by. Eleanor and Edsel Ford had both passed away. The butler's widow was in her 90's living in a mobile home park in Florida. The Ford family had been paying her a widow's pension for many years. She needed to go into a nursing home as she wasn't able to live alone anymore. The Ford family paid for the nursing home. They took care of their employees "cradle to grave".

To Paczki or Not

2009-02-22T13:09:00.007-05:00

This Tuesday is Fat Tuesday my all-time favorite holiday. Well normally this means that I would sniff out some bakery around here that ships real Paczki from Hamtramck in the wee hours Tuesday morning so I can buy a dozen of these heavenly creations. I can just feel the heaviness of the bakery box. During that special Tuesday I would probably eat at least three of them, each one better than the last. The law of diminishing return does not apply to Paczki.

I mentioned the upcoming holiday to Danielle and she in no uncertain terms said, "Mom you can't bring those things into the house". If Dan was home he would be good for three or four I'm sure. Stef would probably help out for at least one. She doesn't overindulge in anything that doesn't come in chocolate. Danielle would weaken and eat some too. However, it is just Danielle and me here and a dozen of those things would just be too much temptation for her I'm sure. I of course have perfect control over my cravings.

So I have been eating very healthy and going to the gym. It really doesn't make sense to break down and eat Paczki. I looked at some today at Meijer but those really aren't the real thing. They are more like a jelly donut than a Paczki. I didn't buy them today but but I did hold the box and then put it back on the shelf. Tuesday is coming quickly.

A Sad Sign of the Times

2009-02-21T08:57:00.005-05:00

Most days are just busy at work but no stories to tell. You have to be careful about not violating privacy laws and such so no names here.

A couple of days ago one of our longtime patients came in with a problem. His eye was red, hurting, and his vision was down. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing by coming in to the office but it took our doctor 2 seconds to tell that he had developed an infection inside his eye. This can happen because of the surgery that he had had on his eye years ago. It leaves him with an increased risk of infection that if it happened could make him lose the eye completely. If this infection is caught early it can be treated with massive doses of antibiotics and sometimes it is necessary for the patient to be hospitalized.

We don't treat this problem normally but we send the patient immediately to a doctor in our building that treats them and then sends them back to us after the problem is resolved. So that is what we did that day.

Well, a few minutes later we got a call from that office telling us that they were refusing to treat the patient because he had a previous bill of $106 and didn't have the money to pay the old bill. The office policy could not be compromised even so the man would not lose his eye. The doctor did tell our doctor what to prescribe for the patient. And they sent him back to us to treat.

The patient had previously asked me for a sample of his regular eye drops because he said that he had no money and he could barely keep his heat on in his house. I gave him a sample and took a quick look at the front sheet of his chart to see how old he was. I thought to myself that he probably never thought that he would be in that financial situation in his retirement years. The new drops that were needed for the infection are very expensive, there are no samples, and can be only obtained from a small pharmacy near us. Insurance rarely covers them.

Our doctor told us the next day that he couldn't justify that the money he might spend on a nice dinner with his family could save a patent's eye. He got out his credit card and paid for the medication over the phone. The patient left to go pick up his eye drops at the pharmacy.

Ten Rules for Being a Good Patient

2009-02-18T19:39:00.006-05:00

Jeanne did a post this morning stating the rules she has learned in her 55 years. Well I am 57 so I must have learned a couple of things. I kind of thought about this as I was working today so this is from a health care worker/patient perspective.

1. Don't show up for your appointment on the wrong day and demand to be seen even though your doctor is not in the office.

2. If your cleavage is wrinkled please cover it up.

3. If you are so fat you need a double-wide wheelchair please bring someone to push you around the office. Don't project the attitude that it is my problem that you are fat. I didn't feed you Twinkies.

4. Don't refuse to fill out paperwork when you are a new patient. We need all that crap.

5. When you go to the eye doctor wear your glasses. Some people think we want to see how poorly they see without glasses. We don't.

6. Don't schedule your other doctor's appointment across town at the same time as your appointment with us and then get mad at us because you are going to be late.

7. If you beg for a cancellation appointment please don't tell me you can't make it because your dog has a appointment at the groomer's this afternoon and you won't be able to come in.

8. When I explain the whole electonic prescription process we are doing now, don't go to the checkout counter and ask why we didn't give you a paper prescription.

9. If you have to go to the bathrooom, please don't wait until I call you back to the exam room. You have been to our office 100 times and you know the bathroom is out by the elevator.

10. Please take a shower before you come in for your appointment. If you see employees walking around behind you with a spray can that isn't Easy Cheese in that can. If my eyes are watering when I talk to you it isn't because I got something in my eye. It is because you stink!!!

Now these are just a few things I have learned working with patients for 20 some years. I was actually surprised how easily these came to me which makes me think there must be a lot more in my head. I think I had better keep them in my head. Some things are better left unsaid.

I'm Back Jack!!!

2009-02-17T21:10:00.001-05:00

The mail brought me sweet relief. My debit card came!!! Life is good again. Too bad I don't have any money.

Guest Blog

2009-02-16T22:04:00.005-05:00

Tuesday I am guest blogging at Interstitial Life and I am excited. I hope you will check it out. I wrote it back in September when I was the only person reading my blog. Somedays I still am the only reader but that's OK too.

New Year New Look

2009-02-15T14:40:00.003-05:00

Along with my resolutions I thought my blog was getting tired. So I changed colors and added a picture to my profile of last year's Valentine flowers. I was getting really sick of the manly profile. I also like the slideshow of the cherry blossoms. I feel so much better now even though my debit card still hasn't come in the mail. Valentine candy is half off now so that's a good thing for me.

Recap of the Week

2009-02-14T09:31:00.003-05:00

Well my new year is a few days old now. I am counting from the opening of my new gym and all my resolutions. Things are going well. I went Tuesday before work and the next three days after work. At first I just did the treadmill and then branched out after that. I am a newbie at this crap so I am just trying a few things on my own first before I do the "Fitness Evaluation" that Rocky wanted me to do.

Rocky is a cute, perky, happy little fitness trainer at the gym. She saw me struggling on the StairMaster and thought she would spread some of her happiness and charm my way. Here I was sweating and ready to give up and she comes over to smile and encourage me. No thanks. I told her that thing was "kicking my butt" and I was ready to leave. "Oh, you can't leave now. You just got here". She smiles. Rocky just moved back to Michigan after living in Atlanta for a while and I think the Michigan weather has affected her somehow. No one here is that happy.

I try not to look stupid as I try this cycling thing and then the Elliptical that my daughter likes. I didn't like it. Today for the first time since I started going to the gym, I am sore. Mostly the calf muscles. Dan says that's good and that after I start weight training I will be "sore all over". Are these people trying to encourage me or scare me off? I think they enjoy my pain vicariously. Let them get their own pain. This pain is mine.

I have been getting more sleep. The cat and I go to bed earlier. Problem is, he wakes up earlier too because he is a cat.

I have also been taking more vitamins. I have a little pill reminder thing and it is kind of empty at the end of the week. Not completely empty but I am trying.

So overall I think I am doing OK. I feel like I am getting a head start on spring actually. The good thing about the gym is it is always daylight in there so the short days aren't getting me down like they usually do.

Next week I am going at least 4 times. We'll see how that goes.

Fight 255 at Detroit Metropolitan Airport

2009-02-12T20:29:00.003-05:00

This morning I was reading Alice's Underground Adventures about Flight 90 that landed in Hudson Bay and how modest and professional the captain was. It was nice to have something good in the news for once.

I did comment on her post about how it made me think of a hot August evening 1n 1987 when I had taken my husband to work earlier in the evening. I was returning from that trip when I smelled a horrible thick smell and didn't know what it was from. I heard and saw fire trucks and police cars racing by us. My oldest daughter was only three and the younger one was just an infant in her car seat. I told Danielle that when we got to Middlebelt Road we would be able to see what was going on. Well, when we got further up the road I saw that the traffic on the opposite side of I-94 was completely stopped and men were directing traffic wearing shorts and t-shirts and carrying flashlights. This was really odd.

Further down the road I saw that there was a huge fire on the railroad overpass off to our right. I looked down onto Middlebelt Road and saw hundreds of small fires burning. The trees were on fire near the road. A large chunk of the fuselage was on fire just to the side of the freeway. Police were frantically directing us to keep on moving. I had no idea at what I was looking at. I thought a train had crashed. I heard no reports of a plane crash on the radio. I was just listening to music. This was way before cell phones. I had no idea that my husband was frantically trying to get ahold of me. He had heard about the plane crash and knew I was headed right for that area.

It sounds stupid now that I was driving right past an airport and looked at a plane crash and didn't even know what I was looking at. Now my cell phone would be ringing and I would have been talking to my husband the entire way home. Not so that night. Danielle and I just talked all the way home and decided that when we got home we would turn on the television and find out what was really going on.

When I walked in the door at home, of course the phone was ringing. My husband thought that maybe I was the one that got hit by the fusilage and was injured. I did see that fire and had no idea what I was seeing. The news reports said that no one could get near the crash. I had just been there.

Danielle being only three was very concerned about the little girl that survived Flight 255. The sole survivor was four years old. She was in the hospital for a long time and when released went to live in Alabama with her aunt and uncle. You don't hear about her anymore. We sent her a get well card. Danielle helped pick it out. She saw the pictures on the newspapers for the next few days. People thought it was strange that a three year old was reading the papers but she had seen way too much that night and so did I.

Is it Too Late For New Year's Resolutions?

2009-02-11T19:04:00.002-05:00

My gym finally opened. I have been there 2 times already and I am going back tomorrow and Friday. It is beautiful if a gym can be beautiful. All new equipment, carpet, showers, lockers, pool, sauna, etc. I have never been a "gym" person and now I belong to one. I told Danielle when she was thinking about joining a gym that if everyone showed up that had memberships there would be no room for them all. I told her they make their money selling memberships hoping that no one will come. I went on and on..... I told people that all they need is a good pair of walking shoes and the great outdoors.

Every year when the weather finally breaks I put on my shoes and start walking. I try to walk for an hour a day at least 5 days a week. My clothes start out in the spring quite snug and by summer I am fitting into summer clothes quite nicely. By fall, these clothes are sloppy looking and people are making comments like, "You aren't planning on losing more weight are you?" Then winter comes, and I sit on the couch, watch TV and gain weight. I get depressed. I get fatter. And I wait for spring so I can walk again.

This year I decided will be different. I was thinking that a gym membership would help with my winter depression. I thought that this would be a good place for me because they have a pool and I never get to go swimming. I could walk on a treadmill until I am exhausted without slipping on the ice and sloshing through the winter mess we call Michigan.

1) I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, more if possible.

2) I will get in shape BEFORE spring.

3) I will take my vitamins. I had been taking them for a long time. I take them to work in the morning and I take them home at the end of the day.

4) I will strive for 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night.

5) I will put myself first for the first time in many years. Wait a minute, I have
never been first in my life.

6) I will TRY and have a better attitude and enjoy each day. (Today doesn't count. I spilled tomato soup on my white scrub pants and got clipped by another car at lunchtime. I am not filing an insurance report. Just don't feel like dealing with the insurance company, getting a rental car, and putting up with the dealership. They know my car by name. I don't' want to go back there again.)

7) I will make more time for reading. I get into bed every night and start reading and after a page I am ready to turn out the light. I love reading and want to seriously increase the amount of reading material I can devour.

OK I think that is enough for now.

Happy New Year!

How I Spend My Free Time

2009-02-09T18:47:00.004-05:00

I have over the course of our married life installed all the electronic components in our house for the past 20 years at least. My husband used to be a manager of a Radio Shack in his previous life and at that time he was able to hook up turntables, receivers, speakers, Pong (an antique video game), and car stereos. Somehow he forgot all of that when VCR's came out, etc. That's OK with me actually and I have set up all four televisions, two combination VCR/DVD players, one individual DVD player, and of course, the infamous WEBTV.

For Christmas I was able to convince my husband that the 14 year old television in the living room needed to be replaced and the perfect Christmas gift to each other would be a new flat screen television. The old one was a 25 inch model that had the tendency to allow the picture to casually slip halfway down the screen. When there was a breaking news event, I had no idea what it might be. That event wasn't on my screen but probably somewhere below the television screen and above the carpet. And if that wasn't enough, it started a popping episode where the whole picture would disappear with each large "pop" and when this ended, the picture was too large for the screen. It was as if I had hit a "zoom" button (if there was one). That was OK. I could still watch the television but now if it was a basketball game, the score was off the screen. Dan would call me and ask if the Pistons were winning and I might respond, "I think so. They look happy". And if I watched QVC the prices were halfway off the screen. All I knew was the item being displayed was something like 79? The dollars were missing. That could have been dangerous if I was a QVC shopper.

So, of course I went to Costco.com (my favorite place besides the warehouse) and ordered a new 32 inch flat screen television that was delivered right to my door. It was a miracle! I could pick up the box by myself. Getting the old television off the stand was something else. Danielle and I struggled with the old monstrosity and got it as far as the dining room floor. There was a blizzard going on at the time and I figured I would get it to the curb around spring.

As I was preparing to take the new television out of the box, Danielle asked me, "Don't you want to wait for Dad to do that?" I looked at her in shock, and she smiled and said, "Mom, I was KIDDING"! OH, I get it she was making a joke! No I wasn't waiting for my husband. That was funny.

So, on my snow day from work, I set up the new television, hooked up the cable, hooked up the old VCR, and attempted to hook up the DVD player. I read the television manual, looked at the numerous diagrams, looked at the back of the television, looked at the back end of the DVD player. And scratched my head in disbelief. This was complicated stuff. Well, at least I could watch the television. And I had the whole screen, and just half. I could get used to this.

And that is the way it stayed for a while. Yesterday I decided to put the job of hooking up the DVD player on my "to do list". I never used to make lists but after being with my husband for so many years, I now make lists to go to the grocery store, and lists to decide what needs to be done over the weekend. Never thought it would happen to me. What spurred me on what that the library finally came up with Season 3 of Prison Break after making me wait for months on the list. There's that word again.

So, I get out my manual for the television, the manual for the DVD player, and the original remote for the new television, the remote for the DVD player, the universal remote for the television, and the Comcast remote. I look at the back of the television, and the back of the DVD player. I have lots of cables hooked up to each but there is no Prison Break going on. I read both manuals thoroughly. Then I realize that this is a manual for the DVD player that broke last year. In the trash with that manual! Then I start rearranging the junk drawer. OK, back to work. I follow the direction perfectly. Nothing. I unhook everything and announce to no one that I will have to call Comcast and pay a ridiculous amount of money to have some idiot come in and hook it up for me.

After dinner, I get out my manuals, and all my remotes, find the cables again, and try a different method. Maybe the Best Picture isn't for me. How about a Good Picture? And maybe Progressive Scan isn't something I need or want. It says to turn off both components. I do that. Hook up the black to the DVD player, run about the back of the couch and hook up the black to the television, hook up the yellow to the back of the DVD player, hook up the yellow to the back of the television, hook up the white to the DVD player and run around the back of the couch to the back of the television and hook up the white back there. Done! I turn on both and try a different source and Prison Break starts playing. Yay!!!! The cat just sits and looks at me. HMMMM. I wonder why I see a split screen with two images. I hit play. There are two Michael Scolfields and two Teabags. I pull the DVD player out and flip the switch on the back and I am in business. And people think I have a lot of free time because I don't have to cook dinner for my husband every night. And my kids are grown. Somehow, the time just flies by.

Now back to Prison Break.

Mr. T and the Pasties

2009-02-04T16:56:00.007-05:00

A couple of weeks ago a patient came into our main office for the first time. He was a patient at one of our satellite offices for a few years but now that he and his wife have been moved to a retirement condo on the west side of town he needed to come to the Southfield office to be seen by his doctor. He sees me and says, "Is that Jane?" I recognized him right away and corrected him by saying, "No I'm Jan". He remembered me actually from a previous employer. He used to come in and buy glasses from us when I worked for a private optometrist many years ago. He was always nice and I talked to him for a minute. He was pretty spry for 92, with a darn good memory.

Then he says, "I saw a little blonde go by here. Was that Barb?" I was kind of surprised as he had bad macular degeneration and his vision was very poor. I agreed that he had seen Barb racing by earlier, and he asked me if I could just tell her that he would like to say hello. I agreed and hurried off to find Barb. She wasn't sure who I meant at first, and then by my description she did remember him and asked what room he was in. I followed her down the hall and we both went into Room 2 to speak to him.

He was so happy to recognize two employees from our small eastside office. We sometimes forget how much it means to these patients to come in and see familiar faces. And if our faces aren't familiar sometimes there is hell to pay. They don't like new faces! So anyway, the patient, Barb and I all chatted for a few minutes. Somehow we got onto the subject of how he met his wife and how her family hated him because he was Italian. Now that doesn't seem like a big deal but I guess back then it was. His eyes lit up as he described how he and his little girlfriend got married one day and then she went back to her house and went to school like normal. Well, according to the 92 year old patient, the mother went snooping in the girl's room and found out that they had gotten married. The mother confronted the poor girl after school and she admitted the deed and they ended up moving to Detroit to live. He laughed as he told us how since he had been to Detroit before he felt like a man of the world (he was 18 years old). He knew he could get a job down here and he did. I am sure he made a nice living for his family and they had a nice, comfortable home in Sterling Heights. He continued to reminisce about his grown children and how they moved all their possessions into a condominium while he and his wife were enjoying their summer home in upper Michigan. He said it was so nice that they just went right to the new place and the "kids" took care of everything. Lots of patients aren't happy about moving out of the family home. Not this guy.

Then he went from recalling the past right into telling us how he was looking forward to spring and to the time that he and his wife could go back "up north" to the summer home and enjoy the lake and eat pasties. A pastie is a type of meat pie that the miners used to take for lunch. They could take it down in the mine and it was all contained in the pastry. That was kind of refreshing to me. Most macular degeneration/glaucoma patients are not looking forward to the good things in life. We hear all the bad things. We hear how the patient just lost the 95 year old mother. We hear the recent diagnoses of cancer, heart disease, kidney disease, etc. It made me feel good to talk to this guy and hear of his optimistic plans for the future (spring). He wasn't looking past spring and didn't know how many springs he and his wife of 70some years would have. He wasn't complaining about his vision and how he couldn't do all the things he wanted to do. He didn't resent the "kids" for taking charge and helping them.

I felt better about human nature, aging, our patients, etc. the rest of the day. And even now, as I think about that guy it just makes me more optimistic too.

Loose Ends

2009-02-04T16:33:00.003-05:00

First I just wanted to tie up some loose ends.

1. Danielle is feeling better but still in some pain.

2. Stef has moved out of the house but the room is still not cleaned up. It is better but not done by a long shot.

3. Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. We actually got dressed up and had a long late lunch together at an Italian restaurant. We talked. We enjoyed each other's company. That is something considering we have actually been together 35 years. Who's counting?

4. Tomorrow is Danielle's 25th birthday. There I said it.

5. My debit card still hasn't come.

6. I still haven't lost the 13 or 10 or 5 pounds that I wanted to lose after I bought the bathroom scale that weighs like a doctor scale (and we all know they are wrong!!) and my new gym still isn't open.

7. Dan just got his second injection in his spine and is still in pain but better.

8. I am still spending my evenings on the couch eating ice cream, cake, whatever waiting for spring.

My View of Winter

2009-02-02T16:03:00.001-05:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I was pulling out of the Walmart parking lot today. Walmart has to be my least favorite store on earth but they do have good prices. Anyway, I looked to my left and this is what I saw. The snow here is piled sky high and dirty, It is time for it to go. However, the groundhog did see his shadow today and that means six more weeks of winter. Of course, living in Michigan we would have six more weeks anyway.

I see beautiful snow pictures on everyone else's blog. Their animals run happy and carefree with bits of the clean snow hanging to their coats. This is what I saw today. Just wanted to share.

My Debit Card

2009-01-31T13:25:00.003-05:00

So the other night my husband tells me that he took $100 cash out of our account. That is a normal occurrence as he is a truck driver and can't ask me for cash anymore. The next morning I stop at Costco (my favorite place in the whole world) and I try to buy gas. The gas pump tells me to "pick another card for payment" and I am thinking that I must have mixed up my PIN numbers like I do sometimes. I repeat the process and it comes up with the same message. I get back into the car and get my other debit card and it works like magic.

I am worried that maybe I don't have any money in the joint checking account. I am sure that could happen. Dan is using the card like a drunken sailor all across the country and did just tell me he took $100. I call the automated number and check my balance. Yes we have some money. I just can't have any. I sent Dan a text message telling him my suspicion. I had just seen on the news that someone hacked into the Visa/MasterCard system and they were cancelling the cards and patrons will need to wait 14 business days for a new card. I am sure they didn't mean ME.

At lunch I called a human being at my bank. I explain my predicament and she nicely asks my card numbers. I read them off and she happily tells me that my card was compromised and I will receive a new card in 14 business days. She sounds happy about it. Guess she thinks she did me a favor. I feel weak. I need to sit down. I have no debit card. The other one doesn't count. I want THAT ONE. I ask about my husband's numbers and she tells me that his card is fine. I guess that is good.

I send him another text letting him know that he can continue spending and that I will not be able to access any money for quite some time. Actually that isn't true because the next day, I dusted off my checkbook and wrote a check for cash. How weird was that? I had to remember how to do that. Fortunately back in 7th grade we learned how to write checks, balance checkbooks, etc. I USED to write checks. It's just been a while. This bank is nowhere near where I spend my workdays. I don't pass by my branch until if is getting ready to close and now the ATM is off-limits to me.

Last night Dan came home and he tossed me his debit card. For a few days I can feel like myself except I can't buy a pizza from my favorite place as they continue to ask for ID when I try and use my debit card. I don't look like a Daniel. But everywhere else I go I am sure his debit card will be handy. Fourteen business days is a long time.

Jack's Closeup

2009-01-28T17:40:00.001-05:00

0121092205.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

The room lights were off. Jack was standing on my chest. The only light in the room was my little reading lamp. I love this little guy. Now if only he would have stepped a bit to his left.....

Trivia Award

2009-01-26T18:03:00.003-05:00

Ok, so Jeanne tagged me for a trivia award. I am to list interesting trivia about myself. Here goes:

1) My husband and I moved to Michigan in 1976 on a whim. Actually he was my boyfriend at the time and it sounded like an adventure. What did I know? Sure didn't know that in 2009 we would still be here.

2) I have a degree in Journalism and never used it. I have been a secretary, a fast food manager, and spent the majority of my years working in eye doctor offices.

3) I should have had a head-on collision many years ago driving home from work in the wee hours. I was headed north and the car that was headed south, coming in my direction kept changing lanes until he was in my lane and we were about to crash (I could hear the crash in my head) and he honked his horn and drove off. I still don't know why I am not dead.

4) When I was a manager for Arby's, a man came into the restaurant at closing time and pulled a gun. He made us all go in the backroom and lay down. I looked at the dirty floor and knew I was going to die there. All my hard work for nothing. The police came in and the man drew his toy gun and pointed it at the police. I heard the shot but it took me a moment to realize that the police had killed the guy and I needed to get up off the floor.

5) My nephew played basketball in Indiana for high school and in Missouri for college on scholarship and played professionally in Spain for three years after that. My regret was that neither of my parents ever got to see him play. It was so wierd because on the court he looked just like my brother did back in the 60's when he played.

6) My first cousin's granddaughter was first runner-up to Miss America 2008.

7) I never told my husband that we were dropped from GEICO because of Danielle's driving record.

8) I learned to cook, clean, do laundry, iron, sew, knit, crochet, embroider all at a very young age and my two daughters have no clue how to do any of that stuff.

9) I was fired from Wendy's. I still don't know why except that I was a woman and if I had been there 3 weeks longer, they would have had to pay me 3 weeks vacation and a tiny portion of a pension for the rest of my life. My only satisfaction from that experience was that years later I got to participate in a class action lawsuit and I received $3000 for my trouble. The lawsuit was in regard to their policies of hiring, training, and promoting women (or the lack of all that).

10) I got married on a Saturday and had a baby the next day. And no, I don't tell that to many people.

I don't feel comfortable tagging anyone else for this. But if you want to dig deep and come up with some trivia, be my guest. Thanks Jeanne, I think. It was a soul-searching experience.

Visit to the ER

2009-01-24T13:32:00.002-05:00

Ok, so the hospital we picked does not resemble Seattle Grace as in Private Practice. It is more on the lines of ER after a tired 10 seasons or so. Danielle called me crying on Thursday night. After a long day at work, I was just pulling out on Telegraph Road in Southfield anticipating a long drive home, when my cell phone began vibrating. I looked at the caller ID and saw Danielle's name. That is odd as she rarely calls me. I answer the phone to hear her crying and telling me that she was doubled up in pain and I tell her that I am on my way home and to call her sister and see if she can come over and sit with her or take her to the emergency room if needed.

The rest of the drive was not pleasant. On a good night I can make it home in 50 minutes. I have no idea how long it took me that night. I called Stef to see how Danielle was and if she thought that she should just take her and I could meet her there.

Well, I won't go into detail about Danielle's problem but just enough to say that she is having some tests and will find out next week exactly what is going on.

The hours I spent waiting for her at the hospital were unbelievable. I felt like I was in an episode of ER actually. I was waiting for the car to come crashing through the glass or someone to wave a gun at us or a love affair to break out among the disgruntled employees. None of that happened. However, just the people watching was quite entertaining. There was the tatooed lady that talked to herself. We had the young heavyset girl in the wheelchair with her mother. The girl said her brakes failed and she hit her chest on the steering wheel. The mother relayed this to the father on the cell phone and proceeded to look down her daughter's top to check for bruising or swelling I imagine.

The two couples with newborns I did feel sorry for. One had a fever and cough and won't eat. The other baby had a reaction to a formula and that family responded by hauling the grandparents into the hospital too to wait with us. They compared formula and feeding problems with the first baby family and we all got to listen.

The mom and the teenage daughter looked and acted normal. The mom must have sprained her ankle and the daughter was bored stiff. Finally the dad came with the brother so that the daughter could go home. I was happy for her as she almost ran out with the brother. We checked in with them later to make sure everyone was getting ready for bed. (Or at least the father did that. I just listened).

The mom with the 2 little boys was interesting. They spent a great amount of time checking out the snack machines. I don't know why as all she had was a $5 bill and no machine took anything larger than a $1 bill. The youngest boy held his penis the whole time. Never did go to the bathroom.

I also felt sorry for the young normal couple that waited a long time. The woman looked like she might be pregnant and held a small child's bucket in her lap the whole time. Every so often she took her bucket to the bathroom. When the husband sat down he looked around the room like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

There were lots of older people wheeled in by attendants. Some were moaning. Some didn't know what day it was. It makes me thankful that I am who I am and I am glad I can't see into the future to see if one day I might become one of those people.

Danielle finally came out and we left. I had lots of text messages to return by this time, not to mention calling my husband to give him the latest. Not a fun way to spend the evening. Glad Danielle has insurance.

Fear of Furnaces

2009-01-21T15:29:00.002-05:00

The house I grew up in was built in 1914 and I have no idea when the furnace was put in. It was a pot-bellied, coal burning contraption with large cylindrical tubes that sent the warm air to the upstairs rooms. I thought they resembled long arms which even made the monster (the furnace) seem more human. I remember on Saturdays when I was playing outside, the truck would arrive full of coal. The truck would back up to the side of the house and dump black coal into the small basement window that emptied right into the coal bin inside the basement. The coal bin was like a separate room in the basement near the furnace. I wasn't afraid of the coal bin.

I was always afraid of the furnace. I don't think it helped matters any when my oldest brother threatened to put me into the furnace. He opened the little door in the stomach of the beast and I saw flames inside. The coals glowed. That was enough for me. My brothers used to stoke the furnace by shoveling more coal into the center of the ugly beast. I also remember them taking the "clinkers" out to the alley. I haven't used that word in a long time. Clinker just doesn't come up in normal conversation.

Well, I had a bad dream about the furnace. I dreamed that I was playing alone in the basement. That would never happen in this lifetime. Anyway, in the dream the furnace started to chase me and I ran up the basement steps and through the kitchen to the back porch. My mother was hanging up clothes in the backyard and ignored me as I ran around her screaming. I looked back and the furnace was coming through the back door. (That also could not happen as it was way bigger than the doorway). Dreams are not always logical however, I was always afraid of that furnace.

When I was in sixth grade we got a new furnace. It was a large and boxy and didn't look like a monster. It didn't look like it had arms and I was never afraid of it.

I am sure there is a clinical name for an unrational fear of furnaces. I was also afraid of rivers as a child. Subject for another day.....

Honest Scrap Award

2009-01-17T12:03:00.003-05:00

I would like to thank Andrea from www.findingsirius.blogspot.com for giving me the Honest Scrap Award. I think she is a sweet, sensitive, talented writer/photographer. I am honored to be her first follower and hope I have led some nice people to her site.

I am supposed to list ten honest things about myself. Actually my first post on September 6, 2008 listed 13 honest things but if you never read that, here goes:

1) I am a very shy person. Most people would not know that because I tend to dominate the lunch conversation at work but I hate being the center of attention. That is why we had a tiny wedding and why as a kid I hated getting haircuts because everyone felt obligated to tell me that I had a haircut!!!! I still hate haircuts because it requires me to pick up the phone and make an appointment.

2) I am sometimes a bit envious of other bloggers because they have lots of followers, or because they seem to put so much work (thought) into their posts, I just tend to sit down and the words just flow out of me (good or bad).

3) I have tremendous feeling of guilt and inadequacy about my past. I always have felt that I could have helped my mother more when she was dying. I was 16 and really didn't realize that she was at the end. I thought I would see her the next day.

4) I make coffee first thing in the morning even before my eyes are open. That is why I stepped on the cat yesterday walking down the stairs. Jack (the cat) is fine. I scared him and I almost fell down the steps but I am fine too.

5) I neglect emailing people that I correspond with so I can read blogs or write blogs. I am sorry.

6) My immediate family has no interest in my blog and has not read my blog.

7) I thought they would be interested.

8) I love sweets. Not interested in chips,crackers, nuts.

9) I have been told all my life that I am too tall, too pale, and my hair is too curly. I am tall, pale, and have curly hair. I am 5 feet 9 inches tall. For years I told everyone that I was 5 feet 8 inches. I tried tanning when I was young. It just isn't me. And I tried to straighten my hair for years. I did the chemical straighteners, big curlers, etc. It is what it is.

10) I am a voracious reader. I read stuff I don't even like. I cannot return a book to the library unfinished. It is just wrong.

11) Bonus. I actually bought the Blogging for Dummies book before I started this blog. It helped a little but I am still struggling sometimes.

As far as passing on the award, I really don't know who to tag. If anyone wants to play this game you are welcome. Let me know. I will read it cuz I have to read everything. As a kid I tried to read the entire library. It didn't work out so well.

Anyway I hope I did ok telling honest things about myself. Oh no. I forgot that these things were supposed to be interesting.

The Winter Doldrums

2009-01-15T18:36:00.002-05:00

The days are short. The air is frigid. The ground is covered with ice and snow and salt and sand. I thank God for my garage even though when I stepped down on the first step into my garage this morning I stepped on a small bag of trash that Danielle had deposited there sometime in the middle of the night. She must have cleaned her bathroom. Lucky me. I had my hands and arms full of course as I was headed off to my semi-frozen car parked in my rightful spot in the garage. I somehow grabbed the short railing to keep myself from turning an ankle or spilling my travel mug of coffee. Just another day in the neighborhood.

This is the time of year that I find myself arriving home at night and sitting on the couch until time to go to bed. It is dark and cold out. In my head I know that I am still able to run errands, exercise, clean my house, etc. But it is dark and cold out and my couch needs me. So if anyone wants or needs me I will be holding down the couch waiting for spring.

Update on the Bathroom Scale

2009-01-12T17:34:00.002-05:00

I went to work and told the story of the new bathroom scale that weighs ten pounds heavier than my old scale. They think I look just fine and don't need to lose those same ten pounds again. I am thinking that they are just being polite.

I think that running it over with my car is good. However, I was so motivated this weekend that I have already lost two pounds and another eight pounds isn't a whole lot to lose. But what about the five pounds that I originally wanted to lose before I bought the new scale? Now we are up to thirteen pounds. That is significant.

I also discovered that all my jeans are either too big or too small.

I think this is making me crazy.

We have another snowstorm on the way. And high winds. And colder temperatures. That really makes me crazy.

The New Bathroom Scale

2009-01-10T14:02:00.002-05:00

Last night while browsing through my absolute favorite store (Costco) I found two bathroom scales. I had a $10 off coupon for one and of course, the other one was not on sale. Being a devoted Costco shopper I picked the more expensive one. It can keep track of 4 users. It measures body fat, weight loss or gain, bone mass, and body mass index. It knows how tall I am, my birthdate and tells the actual time and date. What more could I ask for?

So today I take it out of the box and put the enclosed batteries in the little compartment where they belong. I look at the multi-lingual instructions and try to make some sense out of the English directions. I program the date, time, my birthdate, etc. I am officially user number one. Hey, I bought it. Danielle can be user number two. The other two users are not home. That is the subject of another blog posting.

After weighing myself, I call the number for my new gym to see if it is really opening on January 15th as noted on the flyer I kept in my purse. Nooooo they aren't on schedule. The construction will be finished next Friday and then the wait for the Fire Marshall to inspect. Try back at the end of the month. I am trying not to fall into my deep January depression and eat a half gallon of ice cream followed up with a bag of Reese Cup Miniatures. That is what I do in January. Gee that was the subject of a previous blog of mine, "Twenty Pounds".

Now I knew that my old bathroom scale had problems but I think now that I liked it better. I had read that my old scale worked on a spring principle and that after time, the spring stretches out and the scale isn't accurate anymore. Maybe that is why I had to constantly adjust the needle to read "0". So now I find myself needing to lose the last ten pounds all over again. I weigh about ten pounds more than I thought I weighed. Maybe there is something wrong with the new scale? I am convinced there is a problem here. Danielle walks in at that point and I program her weight, age, height as user number two. She steps on the scale and says, "That's right". I look at her. She tells me that is exactly what she weighed at the doctor's office yesterday. "What doctor?" She looks at me and tells me that she likes the old scale better too but the new one is the accurate one.

Great. Now I have too much body fat and too little bone and I need to lose the same weight all over again. AND my weight is programmed in as user number one for the world to see.

Good thing I bought that jumbo tub of organic lettuce last night.

Room 100

2009-01-05T18:21:00.004-05:00

I grew up in a small Indiana town where everyone pretty much knows everyone else or you went to school with their brother or sister, etc. I was known not for being me so much but for being the policeman's daughter, the girl with the sick mother, the sister of the basketball star, or being the sister of the town's antique collector/historian. My dream in life was to move away where no one knew me and just start over. I got that wish and it isn't so great.

Lately I have found myself thinking more about my past and why I am the way that I am. I was talking to my oldest brother last night on the telephone and we were reminiscing about a teacher that I had and that my mother had also had in high school. Miss Garn was known far and wide around the town. Everyone had a story about their time in Room 100 with Miss Garn. She had such a reputation. She probably didn't stand more than 4 feet 10 inches I imagine. She didn't need size to strike fear in the hearts of her World History students. I don't think her teaching methods were actually good or fair. But she did teach me things that no one else ever did. She required us to buy ink eradicator and cartridge pens. I don't think I have used an ink cartridge since. On test day she required the "written work" to be handed in to her and she checked our work while we crammed one more minute for some little known fact that just might be on the test. Then this teacher would call a list of names of students that had made some error on the "written work". They scrambled to the front of the classroom to retrieve the sheets of paper that needed to be corrected before they could start their exam.

Calmly Miss Garn would start the oral exam. "Number one", she would say and our hearts sank and we started the test. She had hundreds of possible test questions so you couldn't possible tell the next class what questions might be on their test. Meanwhile the poor people that were trying to correct their work were missing the test questions. One by one they ran to her desk and she would either approve or disapprove of their efforts. Talk about stress!!!

Well, I was so terrified of this tiny lady that I got straight A's in her class. I remember my mother telling me stories of her time with Miss Garn and she still remembered each detail of
how she was taking a test and didn't even know that her book was open and Miss Garn walked past and loudly snapped the book closed and my mother gasped in horror and tried to explain that she didn't know and by then the tiny teacher had just continued to make her rounds around the classroom and never looked back at my horrified mother.

Well, time passed and Miss Garn retired and there was a big article in the hometown paper and everyone again talked about what it was like in Room 100. My brother was in her class too (for one day). He was too scared to try to make it through her class and transferred out immediately. He went on to graduate from Indiana University and received his Masters and PhD from University of Michigan in Art History. Miss Garn was so proud that he "was one of her former students" that she often referred to him in class. He never told her that he wasn't and they remained friends until she died. She left him $500 in her will and never knew that he was not her student.

I learned that Alexander the Great's horse was named Bucephalis and Frederick Barbarosa's beard was red. I think his favorite food was sauerkraut or maybe that was Charlemagne's favorite food? And I will always remember the little lady that ruled Room 100.

Me and My Girls

2009-01-03T12:05:00.001-05:00

danielle me & stefanie
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This is the first photo I have posted on my blog of any human members of my family. This was taken in Indianapolis at my mother-in-laws 80th birthday party. This is where the extended family (my husband's) actually put down their differences for the day to celebrate a happy occasion. We don't always like our family but when it comes down to it we can come together and act like a family. I am including the members of the immediate family here when I say that. My daughters are so different and not just in hair color and skin coloring. Personalities don't always mesh in our house and sometimes I wonder how it will all turn out. The girls do have their good times together though. They don't admit it but i think eventually they will realize they have more in common than their handwriting and their voices.

Danielle left me a note one evening apologizing for leaving a mess after one of her cooking experiments and signed it "Stef". I read it in the morning and laughed and left my comment. Later, Stefanie walks into the kitchen and sees the notes and cracks up laughing because she knows I can't tell the difference in their handwriting. Their voices are the same on the telephone and I have for years now had to talk to them for a minute to determine which daughter I was speaking to. Thank god for caller id.

Stefanie's Room Makes a Mom Proud

2009-01-02T13:32:00.002-05:00

stefanies room makes me so proud.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Ok so here goes the last of the entries meant to humiliate my lovely daughter into cleaning her room. She did stop in last night and after a couple of meals and a couple of loads of laundry, actually went upstairs and started packing her belongings into white trash bags. She isn't leaving our house because she is angry, humiliated, or resigned to the fact that my house isn't a large dumpster. She has decided to leave (for the second time actually) to move into an apartment with the new boyfriend.

I did tell her that she isn't financially ready to go out into the world again. She says it's different this time. Last year she moved out to live with a friend from school. It turned out that Stefanie really didn't know this girl like she thought she did and the bad situation got worse quickly. After about 5 months she moved home and vowed, "I'm NEVER moving out again!!!!!" Well, that wasn't what I had in mind but I didn't say much. She had left her room in a horrible mess last year and promised to come back and clean it for me. I waited and waited. Finally, I found myself drawn to that room again and again until I had hauled all the trash, clothes to get rid of, clothes to wash, water bottles, returnables (in Michigan we have to return all pop cans, and bottles to the store to get our deposit back), I found missing belongings that she was thrilled to get back and I found the carpet. I knew she had carpet. I saw it in 1994 when we moved in.

Danielle at this point had visions of turning the room into an office and I had random thoughts of a true guest room. All of our dreams were dashed last April when Stefanie moved back home. And all of the clutter was redeposited back on the disappearing carpet. But she is my daughter and I love her dearly and she needed to come back home and regroup.

Which brings us back to today. She plans on returning today to get more of her "stuff". Little does she know, her father is coming back this way with a load to be delivered on Monday in the Detroit area and will be back in the bosom of our shrinking family later this evening. He is an over the road truck driver and usually stays out a month at a time. But you never know when he will be in the area and they will just tell him to go home for the weekend. Stefanie hadn't planned on that. I told her that she needs to tell her father this time that she is moving out. Last year she left that to me. That sounds like the subject of another blog....

Jack and the Beanstock

2009-01-02T13:13:00.003-05:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

On New Year's Day I gave in and took the tree down. That is early for the Rowley household but I was at the end of my rope. I just couldn't put one more branch back where it was supposed to go. I couldn't chase one more ornament around the living room. Unfortunately, the cat was still hanging on to the tree until the bitter end. I am surprised he isn't in the basement tucked away in the Christmas tree box reliving those holiday memories just one more time.

He Loves the Bathroom

2008-12-23T19:43:00.002-05:00

Dan said Jack Lost his Contact Lens
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

He does get into lots of trouble. Last night he pulled the stopper right out of the sink.

Jack Loves the Sink

2008-12-23T19:41:00.001-05:00

Jack Loves the Sink
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

We can't keep the cat out of the sink. He loves running water.

This is His Other Couch

2008-12-20T12:16:00.002-05:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Jack Can Sleep Anywhere

2008-12-20T12:15:00.002-05:00

1214081723.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Jack the new cat in the family can literally sleep anywhere. As you can see, he has made himself quite comfortable in our home. The ladies at the rescue group told me he is part Bengal. That didn't mean much to me until I went online and discovered that they have sweet personalities (he does) and that they love water (also something that I have noticed). He is a good companion and loves everyone. Bob is certainly not forgotten but Jack has won everyone's heart.

Don't Come In and You Won't Get Hurt

2008-12-17T17:47:00.001-05:00

downsized_stefanies dresser.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This picture speaks volumes (to me anyways). I see stuff I want on the dresser but can't get to it. I would love to see if there is still hairspray in the can that used to be in my bathroom and now resides in the far reaches of her room. I have the urge to take the Pepsi bottle back to the grocery store. After all, I spent 10 cents on that bottle. I deserve that bottle. But my rule stands. No stepping past the doorway. I might get hurt.

Stefanie's Bookshelves or What Bacteria Lurks?

2008-12-15T18:22:00.002-05:00

her bookshelves.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

The virtual tour continues.... Today at work I passed my cell phone around to show my coworkers pictures of what my daughter's room looks like. The comments ranged from, "HOLY CRAP" to "OH MY GOD".

Hey, I just laughed. I mean really what do I have to lose? And there's more to come. Unfortunately.

Stefanie's Closet

2008-12-13T12:13:00.002-05:00

the closet.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

Here goes nothing. Last night, Danielle grabbed my phone and started sending Stefanie pictures of her room. Even Danielle is sick of the mess that lives next door to her.

Stef keeps saying that she is going to clean it. So I figure that if I start sending these pictures to my blog one at a time, maybe I will see some cleaning going on.

This picture shows that she does have a closet in which to put clothes away. This is how she chooses to use it.

The empty container in the closet is something I bought for her to get her organized. She promised to keep shoes in it.

Biofreeze Goes on the Shoulder Not in the Eyes

2008-12-10T18:36:00.004-05:00

Biofreeze is a great product. It is kind of like Bengay or Icy Hot except it is cool. When I got up this morning I was shocked to discover that my left shoulder blade hurt. And not the right shoulder that I had broken at a kid's roller skating birthday party years ago. It was my favorite and best shoulder, the left one. So before I made it out the door this morning I remembered to slather some Biofreeze on the aching shoulder blade. Then I remembered that I still needed to put my contacts in. I am very nearsighted and NEVER wear my glasses to work.

I carefully wash my hands and proceed to clean the contacts and put them into my eyes. I put the right lens in. Then the left. The right lens felt not so good, so I took it out and dropped it on the dark kitchen rug in front of the sink. Jack, the cat came running out of nowhere to help me look for the missing contact. I was afraid he would eat it, so I tried to keep him away so I could rescue the contact lens. No such luck. I am about to give up and I see the lens hanging from the front of the dishwasher. It never even hit the floor. I am happy. I rinse the lens off again and insert it into my eye. I then realize that my eyes feel very coooool. Hmmmm. Biofreeze in the eyes. Out the door I go with very cool eyes. Not a good idea.

At lunch I realize my right eye really doesn't feel good. I casually move the lens onto the white of my eye and let it slip back onto my cornea. That is usually all I need to give me some relief. I take a few more bites of my salad. I did that a few times and my eye still didn't feel good. I take the lens out and look at it closely with my nearsighted right eye. Looks like little holes in my lens. Hmmmmm. I remember getting poked in the eye with a branch from the artificial Christmas tree. I was trying to put a branch back into the tree after finding it on the floor again. The cat won't stop climbing the tree and he tends to knock the branches right out of their artificial sockets. By Christmas I am thinking that all the branches will be laying on the carpet and the ornaments will all be broken.

So after throwing the right contact away today, I finished up the afternoon's work with one contact and even drove home that way. My shoulder still hurts. And so does my right eye. And the cat is still climbing the tree. And we all lived happily ever after.

The End

Blogging Ideas

2008-12-06T13:06:00.002-05:00

I have been rolling some new ideas around in my head but I'm scared to do it. I went into Stefanie's room this morning and took some pictures of the mess. And I'm being kind when I call it a mess. I used to clean it myself on occasion but she is going to be 22 this month. Should I get her maid service for a birthday present?

I used to clean her room myself but I gave up about 10 years ago because I didn't want to hurt myself trying to make my way into the room. It is even dangerous from the doorway. The cat runs in there but Stef is afraid he will hurt himself too. I see things I want in there like pop bottles that need to be returned and plates that I would like to wash and return to the cupboard.

The problem is that she likes to extend her mess through the house. The dining room table tends to collect her crap. It never ends.

So I was thinking about sending the pictures to my blog. She hasn't read my blog. But she knows it exists. I could threaten her with exposure if she doesn't clean up her act (room).

Food for thought.

Christmas Memories

2008-12-04T19:10:00.006-05:00

So far things are going right on schedule. I haven't written a single Christmas card. The tree isn't up. No gifts have been purchased (except for stocking stuffers). And Stefanie's birthday is exactly one week before Christmas. No birthday presents have been bought or wrapped. I don't even know if I have birthday wrapping paper in the house. No Christmas cookies have been baked. I did stockpile some chocolate though. And I bought some Christmas candy but I think we ate it.

Christmas stresses me out. Now at some point I do need to take action. I did put the ribbons on the coach lights outside. I could use the new cat as an excuse for my hesitation. Actually, this is typical for me. I work better under pressure. Or so it seems.

One year at Christmas, I broke my shoulder and had to do all my shopping one-handed. Stef's birthday was a rough one that year. I couldn't even do the girl's hair. Had to have the birthday party at a pizza place because I couldn't do much with the right arm in a sling.

One year at Christmas I had to have emergency oral surgery and couldn't open my mouth. I remember smashing a Reese Cup with my fist so I could slip it in between my locked jaws. That was fun.

One year at Christmas my engine blew in my Suburu.

Enough with travelling down memory lane. I think maybe I will get the lights out tonight and put them in the windows before anyone comes home tonight. Maybe tomorrow I will make a list of stuff I need to do for Stefanie's birthday. I probably do have some birthday wrapping paper down in the basement. I am sure the cat would like to check out the supply of Christmas cards tucked away in the boxes of Christmas decorations.

Somehow everything comes together for Christmas every year. I do hope that I have made good memories for the girls over the years. Hopefully they will remember what I have done for them and one day I can just be a guest at their houses for the holidays.

I Took the Plunge

2008-12-01T17:41:00.001-05:00

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Originally uploaded by jntrowley

This is the newest member of the family, Jack. He seems to like us and I have told him numerous times, "I love you already". He is six months old, has big ears and big feet. He loves to cuddle. I think he's going to work out just fine.

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!!!

2008-11-29T11:39:00.002-05:00

It is nice to have a four day weekend but this weekend is more than that to me. Thanksgiving has to be my favorite holiday. It is less commercial than Christmas. It is about a nice meal with traditional favorites and family. Now my family get together isn't the big deal that most think of, but it is a day that I plan the meal way ahead and we all sit down to eat at the same time scheduled around who has to work and who has the day off.

This year's meal was strange to say the least. No turkey. That is strange enough, but Dan didn't come home as he had that unexpected week off just two weeks ago, and he needs to come home soon for a shot in his spine, so the biggest eater wasn't at the table this year. Danielle is now vegetarian, and Stef hates seafood. So, I planned on a Costco chicken (smaller than a turkey) and a shrimp platter (I would eat some of both meal plans). Costco decided to run out of the shrimp platter and I had to settle for the sushi tray. Danielle is used to good sushi from where she works so wasn't at all satisfied by the makeshift sushi. Stef enjoyed her chicken and I had mashed potatoes, gravy (for me and Stef) and deviled eggs, veggies and dip, dinner rolls to die for, and the two layer pumpkin pie with the cream cheese layer on the bottom.

Danielle then went to work. Stef and I followed a few hours later and visited her at the bar she works at one day a week and sat at the bar for a drink. It was fun to see her at work. She made Stef two fancy drinks and it was better than sitting at home by myself after dinner.

So, no turkey, no cranberries, no green bean casserole, no stuffing. And a drink at the bar in Troy. Very strange but really nice. This holiday gives me warm fuzzy feelings.

Now to deal with the craziness and anxiety that only Christmas can give me. . . .