Am I Being Compulsive?

I am certain that I am not the only one that has this problem. No one talks about it. No one seems to understand my dilemma here. My inbox is full. I sit down to read my email and each one seems to be something that requires more attention than I seem to have at this moment. I put it in a folder or I just leave it to read thoroughly later.

Later when I see all my emails I think, "Oh, I am waaaay too busy right now. I need to come back later and read this and then delete it." And I sign out.

My phone has the same problem. My inbox is constantly full of text messages. I read and delete and read some more. Delete, delete, and I am still in the danger zone. Some are so cute I have to save them. Some are so sad I can't delete. I have text messages from the day my poor cat died. I can't hit the delete button on that day.

I have the same problem with library books. I would rather pay an overdue fine than return an unread book. It is just wrong to send a book back to the library without finishing every page. I finish a book even when I don't like it. I always think that there will be some redeeming quality in every book. I may learn just one thing....

I need to sign off now. I have an overdue DVD from the library, The Shield Season ? and it's overdue and I haven't finished it.

Stefanie's New Blog

It took me by surprise but Stefanie decided to start her own blog. You can find it at Trials and Tribulations of Stefanie. I think she has learned a lot by her recent troubles and I am very proud of her.

Libby likes purple claws

libby likes purple claws_0001.jpg
Originally uploaded by jntrowley

I have had enough of my whining lately so I decided to show what types of activities I engage in in my spare time. And no Libby did not like putting her fake nails on but I think she is used to them now.

Jack isn't getting fake nails as he is so sweet that he only scratches in pre-approved scratching areas like scratching pads, etc.

Simba got black fake nails as he hasn't quite figured out the scratching idea. He prefers the leather recliner.

Another Day in the Life

So I am driving along minding my own business after work. I am not very happy. I feel sorry for myself today and Dan and the situation we are in. The next round of doctor appointments for Dan is a few weeks away. His pain is worse. His balance is worse. I have alot to think about.

I picked up my phone (a very bad habit) and texted Stefanie as she had been strangely quiet today, meaning I hadn't received any text messages from the queen of texting. I feel guilty using my phone for no good reason on the expressway, so I toss it on the seat next to me.

I look over at it. It is still there. I pick it up again to see if she answered me. She did. I send a quick text. And toss it again on the seat. I look at it longingly. I pick it up. I toss it aside. I am thinking to myself that if I have an accident because of my texting I am going to be very sorry.

Suddenly all the traffic stops. I look in my rear mirror at the car behind me. Whew! I am OK. He stops. I take my foot off the brake and hit the accelerator. We stop again but not suddenly this time. Bammmmmm! He hits me. My phone flies to the floor. I tense up and haven't gone back to normal yet. Now I am mad. I pull over and get out of the car to look at my rear bumper. Scratched but not too unslightly. I expected way worse.

I look around and I seem to be alone. I had pulled off the left side of the expressway in between construction barrels. Way in the distance I see an old minivan on the right shoulder. A chubby man in a Hawaiin shirt with baggy shorts is looking at his front bumper. That has to be my guy. He gets back in his car and uses his phone.

So I get back into my car and call the police. While we are waiting for the State Police to arrive I see him trying to get my attention. He is motioning to his watch on his wrist and throwing his hands in the air. Oh no buster we aren't just going to drive off. I want him to get a ticket now. I'm pissed.

The officer came. I saw him hand the guy a ticket. And he escorted me back into the crazy traffic. I feel better but now my shoulder doesn't feel right and I'm sure I will wake up with a stiff neck. This poor little black car has been rear-ended so many times. Poor little car. Poor me.

Well, now I have something new to think about.

When Memories Attack

I just had a long buried memory come to me. How weird is that when something you had totally forgotten comes to the surface? I was reading a post from Vodkamom and I remembered something from my childhood.

My friend Sue and I were walking across the street in our hometown and we were having a conversation as kids do. Sue was having a hard time keeping a secret and just had to tell me. As kids do. She told me that the women at her church had taken up a collection to buy my mother a new washing machine.

Now this was a big deal for us as my mother had been hand washing lots of her clothes as we could only get to the Laundromat once a week and she was in a wheelchair all day while my father slept. He worked nights so he could be home with her during the day. I was in school during the day and spent nights sleeping downstairs to be near her in case she needed something while he was at work. Many times I saw my mother hand washing small items and hanging them on a rack to dry in the downstairs bathroom.

Money was tight in our family as my mother had to quit work when her illness became worse. She had her own hair salon when I was young but gradually tapered her business down to nothing as the Multiple Sclerosis became more debilitating. Her health insurance was cancelled because of her illness. My father was the only breadwinner and her first Social Security Disability check didn't come until the day she died. She had a hard time proving she was disabled evidently to the government.

Anyway, when my mother found out about the washing machine she cried. I think that was the first time I ever saw her cry over something that made her happy.

My 100th Post Was a Long Time A-Coming

It has been quite an experience writing this blog. I have met some amazing, witty, kind, talented people. I have met people that I feel a real connection with. I have met people that I enjoy reading and they actually read my drivel in return. I have received much more than I have given.

My first commenter many posts ago was Far Side. I was so pleasantly surprised when I saw that I had a comment about my cat Bob. I went on and on about how poor Bob got sick and how he passed away. I cried when I wrote it. It made me feel better but sad anyway.

And then I met Jeanne and Andrea. They are so different but I just enjoy them so much. I was Andrea's first follower. Now she has over 100 and growing....Her photography amazes me. I love her animals. I know them by name. And Far Side's old family photos remind me so of my grandparents and my parents. I love to look at them on "Wistful Wednesdays". Jeanne is so smart and such good entertainment. I felt a connection with her the first time I read her blog. She is a friend.

My first follower Suzanne is a grade school friend. She is always there for me and has never commented but I know she read all about our history teacher and heard about my grade school embarrassing moment for the first time. I hadn't even told her about sitting on T's head and smashing it into the playground!!!!

I have told all of you about my father leaving me at the park at the family reunion and taking me to the gypsy camp on Easter Sunday after our fifth grade teacher reminded us not to go there because "gypsies steal children". I have more stories about my dad taking me to poor families on Christmas Eve and leaving my gently used toys for them as Christmas presents. Their families couldn't afford a Christmas and he thought that my toys would help them be a bit happier. I hope it worked.

I have mentioned many times how my mother died young and I felt so abandoned at age 16. I never mentioned how my dad married the "Wicked Witch of the West" a month and a half after my mother's death and basically turned his back on me and my brothers and left me at a crucial time in my life. I forgave him later but it still hurts and I can cry at the drop of a hat. One day I will tell the story of my stepmother and you can make up your own mind.

I have whined about my husband's back problems and talked about all his medications and how he loses his balance and falls down. I don't know how much longer he can work. There I go whining again.

I have talked endlessly about my cats. I told you how my poor Bob got sick and died on election day. I talked about Stefanie's cats. And I even showed a video of my friend's cat punching me. I'm sure you are sick of my cats. But I love them and I am sure that T isn't sick of them. She is the biggest cat lover I have ever come across. Bless her.

And of course, I talk about my daughters. I complain about them. And I love them soooo much. They are amazing. They are beautiful inside and out. And they are the best thing I have ever done. I am so lucky.

There you have my year in review. I have so enjoyed writing these posts. And I hope maybe you have enjoyed reading them. Thank you for being there for me. And commenting. And emailing me when you haven't heard from me for a while. All that means so much. Thank you.

Stefanie is Gainfully Employed at Last

I have been very lax lately. I think about blogging. I read a couple of my favorite blogs and something stops me from starting a new post. I am just not feeling it lately.

Anyway, just a quick note to let everyone know that Stefanie DID get a new job. Yay!!!! She found this job all on her own and had two interviews and landed it all by herself (with lots of coaching from me but that doesn't count). I am very proud of her and she seems to be doing fine. She is a bit surprised to find out that she knows nothing. She is quite overwhelmed actually by all that she doesn't know. She is used to jobs where after a brief training period she knows everything there is to know.

Not so here at the optometrist's office. She has lots to learn and will continue learning until she quits. She even made flashcards yesterday to help her learn new terms. We talk "optical talk" every evening. I will continue to do what I can to help her without interfering (I hope).

I plan to be back in blogging order shortly just in time for my 100th post. See you then.