Biofreeze Goes on the Shoulder Not in the Eyes

Biofreeze is a great product. It is kind of like Bengay or Icy Hot except it is cool. When I got up this morning I was shocked to discover that my left shoulder blade hurt. And not the right shoulder that I had broken at a kid's roller skating birthday party years ago. It was my favorite and best shoulder, the left one. So before I made it out the door this morning I remembered to slather some Biofreeze on the aching shoulder blade. Then I remembered that I still needed to put my contacts in. I am very nearsighted and NEVER wear my glasses to work.

I carefully wash my hands and proceed to clean the contacts and put them into my eyes. I put the right lens in. Then the left. The right lens felt not so good, so I took it out and dropped it on the dark kitchen rug in front of the sink. Jack, the cat came running out of nowhere to help me look for the missing contact. I was afraid he would eat it, so I tried to keep him away so I could rescue the contact lens. No such luck. I am about to give up and I see the lens hanging from the front of the dishwasher. It never even hit the floor. I am happy. I rinse the lens off again and insert it into my eye. I then realize that my eyes feel very coooool. Hmmmm. Biofreeze in the eyes. Out the door I go with very cool eyes. Not a good idea.

At lunch I realize my right eye really doesn't feel good. I casually move the lens onto the white of my eye and let it slip back onto my cornea. That is usually all I need to give me some relief. I take a few more bites of my salad. I did that a few times and my eye still didn't feel good. I take the lens out and look at it closely with my nearsighted right eye. Looks like little holes in my lens. Hmmmmm. I remember getting poked in the eye with a branch from the artificial Christmas tree. I was trying to put a branch back into the tree after finding it on the floor again. The cat won't stop climbing the tree and he tends to knock the branches right out of their artificial sockets. By Christmas I am thinking that all the branches will be laying on the carpet and the ornaments will all be broken.

So after throwing the right contact away today, I finished up the afternoon's work with one contact and even drove home that way. My shoulder still hurts. And so does my right eye. And the cat is still climbing the tree. And we all lived happily ever after.

The End