Wednesday, September 10, 2008

20 Pounds

My mother died when I was 16 and she was 48. I immediately consoled myself with food that she wouldn't have approved of. Lots of food. She wasn't there to hear me getting into the refrigerator. I gained 20 pounds.

When I graduated from college I lost 20 pounds. I was nervous about going out into the world and actually making a living and being responsible. I was in the habit of cutting classes and such and the real world doesn't work like that. Life became normal again as I adjusted to the working world and I gained 20 pounds.

When my father died I was 43 and I lost 20 pounds. Food tasted like sawdust in my mouth. Life eventually settled down to normal and I gained 20 pounds.

Every spring I resume my walking routine and lose weight (20 pounds?) and feel good about myself and eat healthy. Winter comes and I sit on the couch and eat and gain weight (20 pounds?)

Do I see a pattern here?

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