Friday, November 26, 2010
It's been a year since Dan's back surgery. It has been difficult and in many ways it is easier now than before and some days are even more difficult than before. Dan gets depressed. I get depressed. I know the girls are troubled at times.
I don't see this as being the way the rest of my life will be. With no passion. With anger. With depression. I choose to be a happy person. How do I continue with my life? I have done my part. I do deserve some happiness. I deserve some peace and quiet. I am conflicted.
Dan is better. He can take care of his daily needs. He can't work. He can't drive. He dreams of driving. He dreamed he was sleeping in his work clothes. He wakes thinking that he has a load to deliver.
I go through my daily routine. I work. I grocery shop. I'm buying Christmas presents. I know what I have to do for me.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
It has been such a long time since I checked in daily with my blog. So much has happened. Where do I begin? I rarely think of blogging.
Dan is much improved. His back is not his main problem anymore. The diabetes is controlled. The neuropathy is his "new norm". Disability has been filed and the long wait is over. The application was approved and that stress is over. I am grateful.
Danielle is still in school. Stef is still gainfully employed. The cats are good.
Today is beautiful. And I appreciate it. There can't be many more days like this. Fall is so short. I should be happier than I am.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
I have gotten too cool here. While I was taking an unplanned vacation from blogging I got a new phone. Now I am blogging from my Blogger app. Where was this technology when I was young and uncool?
I think I am back in the saddle again. I might. be back from that unplanned vacation......
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I park, open my car door, and jump out of the car. My forgotten cell phone falls out and lands in a snowbank. Ughhhhh! I grab it and quickly try to dry it off and stick it back into my coat pocket and forgot all about it until after my drive I try and make a call. The phone doesn't work! I can text but no talk. I am lost. I neeeeeed my phone.
I take out the battery. I dry it off. I leave it in my locker thinking that later on this afternoon it will work. Not so.
I go online and Google "I got my phone wet". I couldn't believe the amount of people that drop their phones in the toilet. It seems everyone does that. I don't feel so bad cuz mine just hit the snowbank not poop and pee. The advice was always, "Put the phone in rice and leave it for a few days". I had it in salt all evening but it still didn't work. I didn't really have a bunch of rice lying around and I had heard somewhere that salt did the same thing. When I went to bed last night I left the battery and phone in a container of oatmeal.
I realized from this experience just how sadly dependant I am on my little phone. I go everywhere with it. I take it upstairs to bed. I take it to work. I take it into the bathroom to take a shower. I don't drop it in the toilet.
This morning I took the parts out of the oatmeal and put it back together. It just felt so right in my hand. The poor case is chipped and scratched. My life is in this little phone. I don't even know Stefanie's number. It is in my phone. So I look at my contacts and I pick "Capital One" and hit send. I hear it ringing. It is a miracle. I am back in business. And I owe it all to oatmeal. I start every morning with oatmeal, especially this morning.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dan is doing better. Today while I was at work trying not to think about what he was doing, he got up, showered, dressed, and came downstairs and found something to eat all by himself. That may not sound like much but he was so exhausted after that exertion that I found him sleeping in the recliner hours later.
Back surgery is not for the faint of heart for sure. No wonder I remember my dad saying, "Never have back surgery". He wasn't kidding however Dan had no choice and so I know (and he knows) that he did the right thing. So tomorrow I will go back to work and try not to think about what he is doing on his own.