Friday, November 26, 2010

Life as I Know It Today

I was just rereading some old posts of mine. Some are as if someone else wrote them. Some are just unfamiliar period.

It's been a year since Dan's back surgery. It has been difficult and in many ways it is easier now than before and some days are even more difficult than before. Dan gets depressed. I get depressed. I know the girls are troubled at times.

I don't see this as being the way the rest of my life will be. With no passion. With anger. With depression. I choose to be a happy person. How do I continue with my life? I have done my part. I do deserve some happiness. I deserve some peace and quiet. I am conflicted.

Dan is better. He can take care of his daily needs. He can't work. He can't drive. He dreams of driving. He dreamed he was sleeping in his work clothes. He wakes thinking that he has a load to deliver.

I go through my daily routine. I work. I grocery shop. I'm buying Christmas presents. I know what I have to do for me.
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7 comments:

Rachel M. said...

Dear friend, I'm sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for you and Dan to find some holiday joy. My dad was a hard worker, it would have killed him to stay in bed so I understand. ((((hugs)))

Dedene said...

That is a shame. You must take care of yourself. I'll send you lots of good vibes to cheer you up.

Jan said...

Thanks to you both. Now I'm off to Costco. That and a free cookbook should cheer me up. Hope they aren't out of the cookbooks. I may even have some samples! Seriously I am ok. Thank you again. It is good to hear from both of you.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hi Jan, You are back and with a fancy droid too!
I am sorry to hear about Dans continuing problems..what is the prognosis? Will he ever be able to drive again? Is he house bound or can he leave with you driving? Not being able to drive really restricts a persons activities..and so normal is not so normal anymore.
I suspect you are going through many adjustments. Hang in there! :)

Jan said...

Hi Connie. Thanks for the concern. Dan can't drive but we can go out to dinner etc without any trouble. Sometimes I don't even take a handicapped parking spot. Dan's balance is poor but he does get around without a cane now. Life is way better than before the surgery. Will he ever be able to drive again (meaning work)? We really don't know.

Andrea said...

I'm so glad you are back! I wish I had some words of comfort that would help you at this time...just know that Sophie and I are out there thinking of you and your family and sending positive vibes your way. We have missed you.

dikvipreal said...

Thank you for sharing.